I find myself standing before a cliff. The sun is rising, it is casting light all around me and the stars are starting to blink out of sight. I watched the sunrise and I sat with myself for a moment. So much was changing and happening. It is overwhelming at times, the changing and manifestations that were happening. I had to adapt to them. There was darkness that was brewing in the depth of my soul and it was coming up for me to face it. The pressure was changing me. It is transforming me into a Diamond, I can feel it.
Freak… Monster….Outcast…. The words have followed me and they continue to. To the point that now they are old friends. My allies, they walk with me and honestly those who love and respect themselves are never truly alone. My darkness even these aspects of it have become my ally. Every layer of me now walks with me and we know the direction we want to go. I have become wiser and stronger. I have learned to set boundaries and I have learned to walk tall in my path, knowing that even if the world is against me or says I am full of shit, I know I am not, and that is all that matters.
Mammon: “You have come far, do you know why this is happening?”
Me: “I have ideas.”
Mammon: “Your protection is ending. I know it broke you back then and we bent thing to offer you the protection that you needed, but that time is over, your goals will not manifest if you stay in the shadows. There was only so much you could manifest while under our protection in the way you were. This is the reality of where you are going, you have to spread your wings again and soar, you cannot stay grounded and bound and expect to manifest what you desire. You have to face this and you will have to go through it. This pain is only the beginning, and the pressure you feel it is going to transform you. People who despise you will be a part of it, they can destroy you, or they can empower you to grow.”
Me: “You know what path I will follow.”
Mammon: *Laughs* you have come a long way from the girl crying in the corner consumed by her own anxiety.”
Me: “It is still there, but I know what it is and I know what I need to do. It empowers me more then it defeats me.”
Mammon: “With each moment of peace will come another test, you have big goals and the higher you shoot the more you will have to overcome your own blocks and the emotional hurdles that hold you back. Look at those who speak to you, look at their words and realize they are nothing. Their accusations are built on foundations of sand that will blow away with the first breeze that touches them. This is the test though and it is the place where you must rise above. These words will be nothing compared to what is to come. You are forging something new, you will be tested and challenged in ways you cannot even imagine. It doesn’t get easier, you just get more skilled and capable of managing this. Walking this path you need a skin of titanium. You need to take the hits and get back up ready for your next challenger. Now you see, why I told you not worry and not care about the words and views of others, many are going to do this and you have to get past them. Most cannot rise to this level, and some who can’t will try to trying to knock you down. You should laugh, when your path and words offend someone so profoundly. You should be proud, it shows that you are on top.”
Me: *laughs* how you see the world. I am starting to understand but it still at times perplexes me.”
Mammon: “You asked for it and I have and will continue to guide you. You have seen the results and will continue to. Many cannot speak of the results that you have, so let them say what they will of you. Let them comment and critique you, let them attack you, let your words and path offend them, and laugh at them. It shows where you are going and it shows that you are getting out there. You can move people with inspiration and also with disgust, it is all energy that is directed at you and your path, and it all can be used to help you grow. What happened while it was happening?”
Me: “The store went crazy! Sales were pouring in! The youtube channel the sub went through the roof! It was amazing on one hand. The level of success I am experiencing is unlike anything I have ever experienced.”
Mammon: “Yes, you still need to work on shifting your focus, your attention should be on the growth and building. Let the gossip spread, let it enhance your audience, let those who try to label and claim you fuel you in ways that you cannot even imagine. You are being censored because you’re powerful and you’re message challenges what is accepted. You challenge what is out there and that is why you will receive this. Give it no attention, it doesn’t deserve your time. Instead, keep creating and keep building, You are going nothing reprehensible, you are merely teaching and trying to empower people. You are also learning to believe in yourself which is going to push you to a new phase. Embrace who you are and embrace your truth, this is your truth, this is who you are, this is what you are and this path is a part of you.”
Me: “It’s all new and I have no idea of the direction to take. I find myself at times looking before me seeing all and having no idea how to take the next step.”
Mammon: “The next step is irrelevant, it will reveal itself. It is the destination you want to focus on, the path will open up and every mistake you make will take you closer to that destination as long as you stay focused on that destination and stay true to yourself and what you want to create. I know the path you will take, you need to listen to me and follow my guidance. Connect with me when things happen, I will show you what you need to do to break out of this cycle.”
I know this now falls on me. This is new territory, I have reached the end of a chapter, I am at the top of my family, the top of every references I have. I am so grateful. When I fell Mammon shielded me, he gave me time to recollect myself and find my strength, looking back on it I cannot believe how supportive they were. The more I grow the more the guide me and the more challenges I face the more I know they are there with me. My life, the results I get and have always gotten are such proof. The words of others, they can’t move me, they couldn’t even when I was weak and they don’t have a chance now that I am stronger. I have to face the insecurities of my line, the beliefs that course through my genetics. I have worked hard on my path, I have walked with and studied the demons for years. No one who slanders me, cuts me down, calls me a sham, or steals my work can take away the truth of this. This is my path. I walk with them and my life is living proof. I am loved and I walked with demons. I was at the top of my old life, I dominated that journey and through it grew and learned, but now it is time to release all that and through soul alchemy, transform myself into the person I need to be for the next chapter.
The pressure that is mounting around me is forming me and moulding me. I am in completely new territory and I move forward trusting Mammon. I trust in the demons to guide me to my next step. This journey of mine has been one of personal transformation and empowerment and I am starting to truly understand what that all means.