Mammon: You know you have been wasting so much time on things that just don’t matter. It is time. You have had your time to lament and whine over what happened. You have healed and worked hard to reclaim your power. Now it is time to shed this skin and leave it behind. It is time to let it go.
I stopped for a moment, I was a bit taken back by his words. I knew what he was asking and I knew that it was the next step in my work with him, but it seemed too soon..
Mammon: 4 years!! That is not too soon…
Ok Mammon is in my head.. I have to watch my thoughts… I searched for a way to justify my feelings, justify where I was.
Mammon: You are running in circles and wasting time. This is a huge waste of time and you know it.
I felt anger rise in me. So many ‘buts’ and ‘what ifs’ and ‘but you don’ts’ entered my mind. I wanted to argue I wanted to justify my victim stance and give Mammon every reason why I couldn’t let this go.
Mammon looked at me with a smug look and said those four words… “We all make Choices”
My disgruntled state only grew. I was now getting annoyed and upset with him. How could he be so cold and not see my side of this? I Wasn’t wasting time. I had to heal..
Mammon: Fine sit in your tent of feelings. I prefer not to engage in such time wasting activities, when you are ready to…
I broke… I started to rant and before I knew it it was all pouring out of me. The endless stream of stories and justifications…. It was all pouring out of me, the injustices, the pain, what I had been through, my story that I as cloning to, a story that was doing me more harm then good, but a story that I was refusing to let go of.
Finally Mammon cut me off…
Mammon: Just stop, you are being dramatic.
Me: I am not!
Mammon: Yes you are, you have been ranting for 20 minutes
I glance at the time..
Me: 18 minutes, what is your point?
Mammon: Why are you wasting so much time on this? You could be directing all this energy to things that are much more productive. That are more geared towards where you want to go. Do not mind those who hurt you, they have no idea. If anything it shows where they are and that they are people who you do not want in your close circle. Do you want to be successful or spend your life justifying why you cling to the past!
Me: *sighs* I know you are right Mammon…
Mammon: You want to know a key to success, I will tell you. You have a limited amount of time here in this realm and everyday you have choices of what you do with that time. You can waste it on things that have happened in the past and on people who have wronged you, people who drain you, and only want to see you fall, or you can focus on creation, what you want to build, what it is that you want to do and direct your attention on building the life that you want and desire. You have a lot to be grateful for, and from that is the base that more things can manifest and rise from. Everyday you have a specific amount of time and you choose what you do with it. You choose what you spend your time on and what you spend your activities on, who you want to spend it with. Spend it with people who empower you and give you a reason to smile. I want you to stop and think of those people who not only stand by you, but who came to your side when everything fell apart, those friends who have been there with you and helped you when you needed it most.
I thought for a moment. He was right. I had people who knew before I did, all the details, who were my friends and my family and who would always stand by me. Those are the people that you want in your life. Those are the people that you want having your back. One friend like that is worth 10 000 acquaintances and I had many, I really was blessed. The people who had hurt me were gone and I was truly surrounded by amazing friends and people.
Mammon: Shifting your perspective will free you from this. Knowing who your friends are and who has your back, well when they reveal themselves, honour them. When others speak poorly of you they will always reveal themselves, then know where they are, it reveals more of their character than of yours. It reveals their vibrations and you will know that they are not people that you want to have around you. Guard your inner circle, those people will mirror back your own vibrations, those who you surround yourself with are who you are destined to be like. Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people who will help you rise and not people who will sink you and drain your energies. There are many people who will laugh as you fall and those same people will try to cling to you as you rise. Remember who was there for you from day one, and who stayed and who knew you better than you knew yourself. Those people are rare and who you want to build with. Do not waste your time on those who would kick you when you stumble and rub salt in your wounds. Ignore them and focus all your attention on building and creating. This is what you need to do. Focus on where you want to go and you will bring people to you who align with that. If you raise your vibrations and keep moving in the direction that you want to, those who do not support you will reveal themselves in time. It always happens that way.
Azazel suddenly appeared and smiled at me: We will always watch out for you.
I looked at Azazel, he had walked with me through the last gauntlet I went through, I trusted him, I knew that he had my back and always would through anything that happened. He had shown me so much and now it was time to take my training with him to the next level.
Azazel: I will always show you the way. When I helped you secure S&S, it was because it was yours and it always will be yours. This is your path and calling you have had since you were a child. I will see to it that you have the tools that you need and the supports in place to grow and attain the goals that you desire, but I agree with Mammon, it is time to let go of these things and free yourself.
I suddenly felt such an empowered energy. It hit me so hard and I suddenly saw my path. I saw the path that was ahead of me. I knew what I had to do. I realized that I had everything I needed, it was all right there. How could I Have been so blind to it? How could I not have seen all the wonder that lay stretched out before me?
Azazel: You were focused on a perspective that was not serving you. You also were letting your fear get the better of you. Look at the life you have, to those who claim to work with us but really only use us as bragging rights. You see the difference, You can see it all now. It is a moment of clarity. Hold only it, these energies, this place, doesn’t it feel better than where you have been?
Me: It does..
I felt it. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Suddenly my path became so clear and really nothing mattered. I knew them, I knew the demons on a deeper level than I ever had before. Nothing else mattered. The clarity that had overtaken me also brought me to a state of pure peace. Nothing mattered but the path before me. No one from my past, no one who had harmed me or wronged me, no one. I suddenly had a moment of clarity for everything Mammon had been teaching me. I felt such peace and happiness.
Azazel: This is the direction that you want to go. Petty people, they will try to knock you down, they will try to pull you into their drama and bring your vibration down to their level to make themselves feel better. They will suck your time and your energy and contribute nothing back. They will make up stories about your actions and spread lies behind your back. You cannot change this, it is going to happen and the more you rise, the more it will happen. This is not something that you can stop, nor is it something you should direct energies to stopping. You can though choose to ignore it, choose to focus your attention elsewhere, on creation and creating, building and crafting the life that you desire. Look at all the energy vibrations around you and ask yourself what you are ready to let go of? What do you want to release? What are you ready to shift away from?
I felt my energy wings open on my back. I felt the currents flowing through them. It was amazing and I just felt free, in that moment nothing mattered. Then a lightness took over me. It was a beautiful feeling.
Mammon: You are doing much better. Hold this vibration from here, I can show you even more. There is so much more I have to teach you. These next lessons will be harder, you have to hold this vibration that you have, you have to stay up here with me. I have broken you and destroyed your inhibitions and thrown you to the wolves. This was not done to be mean, I did this to open you up. You had to be able to do things, you had to be able to take action that would make you the bad guy, that would put you at odds with those who would want to knock you down. You are stronger than this, you are stronger than anything that has happened to you. I have made you stronger. I made sure that S&S would be yours. I know it hurt you so badly but you had to rise to that challenge. I know you love S&S and always did, the result of all your years of work and all your research, holding it, building it, entering that place of creation. These energies though, the higher you rise the more people will come out to knock you down. This is why I did what I did, you had to learn these lessons and you cannot let anyone knock you down and try to dominate you. Rise above them and their words and know that those who resonate with them attract those energies. So build and grow. Those who walked with you will stay and those who shunned you will try to get back in when you become something. It is the nature of things. People reveal themselves through their actions. Say nothing, do nothing, it only fuels the drama. Focus on building and creating and the higher you rise, the more people will reveal themselves. Those who are true to you will walk with you and through their action, show their character. They will accept you at your worst and help you rise at your best, those are the people that you want closest to you. Change your energies, focus on what you want, what you are creating and where your passions are. This place, this place of creation and raw passion is the place where dreams are realized.
I took a deep breath in. I understood his words, on such a new level. There was so much more here. I was seeing things. I knew it was coming up in this cycle to be shed. I saw my old shell, the old essence of myself and all the strings and attachments that were holding me back.
Azazel: When you come from this from this level you become the master of your reality. Do not worry, those who have wronged you will get what is coming to them. But it is not for you to direct your energies there. It is for you to direct your energies towards what you want to create. What you are enamoured by and what brings you incredible joy. When you can release these binds on your heart, when you are no longer controlled by this pain, then you will be able to act from an empowered place in all that you do.
I knew what they meant. I saw the power that was before me, This is not a path of a pacifist, this is one of a person who is balanced and in control, one who knows where the best area is to direct their energies and who can see the choices and analyze them knowing which choice is the best one to take to lead to where you desire to go. It is the path of empowerment.
I trust them. I trust them with all my heart and soul and I know that they are teaching me the things I need to learn and guiding me where I need to go. The journey walking with demons is not always easy, but it is super rewarding. Demons are my life, my joy and I am so honoured to walk with them on this incredible journey.