I have started the new lessons with Mammon and I have to say it has been quite the transition. Everything I once again thought I knew has been being challenged and he is once again working on shifting my mindset and opening me up to new perspectives. I am also needing to be constantly present, for Mammon has informed me that many of my default thoughts are damaging my growth and hindering me. With the Holiday season upon us there have been many opportunities to experience these new lessons in a way that only Mammon can deliver them. When I work with Mammon I am very honest about where I am, I use to always try to hide things and act how I felt I should have, but now I just come as I am because that will reveal what needs to be healed.
I met with Mammon for our session..
Mammon: How are you doing today?
Me: Bah Humbug…
Me: I am sorry Mammon, I just have been being hit with everything that seems to not be resolved and everything that has caused me pain at one point or another. I am trying to hold the vibrations but it seems the harder I try to hold the vibrations the more stuff is coming up and hitting me.
Mammon: So why are you fighting?
Me: because I was told to hold the vibrations.
Mammon: Yes but fighting with the old vibrations only holds you there. This is the lesson that you have to learn. The lesson of not just holding this vibration and controlling your emotions, but realizing that the emotions are coming up because you have something to let go, something that you have to shift away from, something that is holding you to this reality. Right now how your mind is programmed, holding you in this place and no matter how hard you try to hold the new vibration, it will only be temporary until you shift your way of thinking.
It has been an intense morning, we were suppose to go get the Christmas tree and it was like everything was coming up. Every way that my boundaries had ever been pushed in the past seemed to be hitting me. Every situation was just slapping me in the face and I kept trying to stay in the new vibration. Hold the Vibration, hold the Vibration, it was my mantra..
Mammon: Stop holding the vibration and live at the vibration you want to live at. What has happened today is no different than any other day. You have had an equal amount of good as you have had bad and the bad I don’t even see as bad, your perception of these events still is that they are bad. They are lessons and moments where you can take back your power. You are still going to get mad, you are still going to get sad but how these states determine your future actions is what is going to be the difference. Right now you are trained in survival mindset, so when there is good going on it is a temporary state because in survival mindset you are waiting for the bad lurking in the shadows. When you are in a thriving mindset you accept that the bad will happen, but you are going to choose to engage the good and allow that to override any bad when it happens.
Me: …. Ok I am starting to see this…
Mammon: You have to change so that positive energies are ten times stronger than negative ones.
Me: That… I have always been taught that negative energies are stronger then positive ones.
Mammon: When you are in survival mindset, when something bad happens you will drop everything to deal with it. Often the good is overlooked because you are programmed to fixate on the bad. It is the only reason why negative emotions are ten times as powerful as positive emotions, because in this world everyone is taught to fixate on them and respond to them. You are not taught to respond and embrace the good, you are not conditioned to allow the good to overshadow the bad, This is your lesson, you are going to have the worst day today.. if you stay in survival mindset… if you shift out of it you are going to have an amazing day. I will give you three gifts… amongst a sea of triggers, trauma and pain and you are going to have to make choices on what you do with them. You need to learn how to make positive energies stronger and more vibrant than the negative ones. Mammon Alchemy, the art of empowering the positive energies, while still learning from the negative ones. When you enter this state the positive events in your life will be stronger than the negative ones and you will find holding this new vibration effortless.
Me: Alright… let’s do this.
Mammon vanished and as promised the day was full of challenges. It was absolutely full of challenges and things were coming up and upsetting me and I was just fighting all day with my depression and feeling lost. I reminded myself of Mammon’s words, but the weight of the day was just crushing me. It also seemed that the more I tried to shift, the stronger the negative energies got, like they knew of my elaborate plan to leave them and they were conspiring to hold me as their prisoner… I laughed at imagining what Mammon would say to that story.
I was hit in my heart chakra all throughout the day. On top of that I had the kids and was trying to hold myself in a good place for them. This event was magical for them and I wanted them to enjoy it and be present with their own joy. So with a smile on my face and a heart crumbling underneath I carried on… I could almost hear Mammon… stop being so dramatic… what a story you are telling yourself…
It all happened, then another blow and I just threw my hands up. I felt something breaking and cracking. I figured what the hell I would let it… I looked at the tree. It really was beautiful. Smaller than we normally get, but we were able to put the star on it, and the decorations and lights looked beautiful. I smiled watching it…
My son was so enamoured and entranced by the tree, he loved it and I just forgot the world for a moment and watched him. Why couldn’t these energies be dominate.. Why was I allowing everything else to dominate.. It was because I was fearing the potential of danger, that is what survival mindset does. In that space positive things can wait till you deal with the danger, but there was no danger… My mind was overreacting to these situations, it was overreacting to everything. I was not in immediate danger and I didn’t have to jump the second something happened. I cut out the voice and realized this was Mammon’s first gift… my family, my tree, my children, unless my life or theirs were in immediate danger, I could take this moment and just enjoy the space with them. I started to see the energy vibrations and I saw the parts of my mind that were causing the negatives to be stronger. I shifted them and I started to smile and just enjoy the space and the moment that was being created. My son is so amazing and I love watching the wonder and amazement he has with everything. I sat with him under the tree and we just were.
The day wasn’t over though and other things came up. There were blows and energies, I was working to keep my mind from changing the program back to the old one. It was easier than trying to hold the vibration I noticed, but there were still challenges.
The second gift.. An email… it was one of the sweetest and most touching emails I have ever read. I got all teary eyed when I read it. I was so touched by those words and I realized that I had a choice. I could let those energies flood the world around me and focus on them. I will be replying to that individual today, they really touched my heart with their words and I believe that that message was one of the gifts Mammon was speaking of. <3 <3 <3 I read the email and I smiled so deeply. I used the energies to shift my mind more. The positive energies were getting stronger. The vibrations were really beautiful. I had to find these moments I realized and allow the positive vibrations to overpower the negative ones. This isn’t to say I shouldn’t deal with the negative ones when they come up, for there were things that came up throughout the day, but my overall reaction to them should be one where I work to solve the issue, then return to enjoying the joys in my life.
Another blow, this one was one that targeted a completley different area. I felt myself slip and get knocked down. I was frustrated and upset. This was one area that always hit me. It was actually a huge weakness of mine and it is one of the things that held me back from success. I knew this and when it happened I felt a sea of emotions come up. I was really upset and I wanted to curl up and sob. I was trying to find something, something to bring the positive flow in. It wasn’t there…
Mammon: There are positive things all around you, you just have to be able to see them. You may not be able to see them now, but open yourself up to them and don’t let this knock you down. This is knocking you down because you feel this is causing you to fail. You are not a failure, you are very successful and you are so successful now that the story is losing it’s power. Let go of it and seek out something positive, this isn’t a big deal, it is part of business and a lesson on maintaining the course of success no matter what happens.
I logged onto S&S and saw the third gift, a beautiful post. I smiled so hard and was so touched by the gift. It touched my heart and it was like gates opened and I saw all the amazing and the good things that were happening all around me and I felt blessed. I don’t know why I ever let my fears get so big and scary. Fear only holds me in that survival mindset. I am not in danger, there is no immediate threat, so my survival instincts were unbalanced and they needed to be re-aligned. I smiled and embraced the positives. I let them fully into my heart. Life is going to happen, and at times it is going to suck. But the bad doesn’t have to overpower you, the negative emotions don’t have to be 10 times stronger than the positives ones. The positives ones can be stronger than the negative ones. That is one of the secrets to leaving survival mindset. Let the good moments overpower and be the focus and the bad ones little hiccups that you deal with and move on. My mindset shifted, this lesson was challenging but needed, I had convinced myself negative emotions were stronger then positive ones, that in itself was a limiting belief. I sat with these energies and I just allowed them to be. I sat with the mindset and I let go of the fear. I realized to that many others had shared gifts with me and said amazing things and suddenly the negatives were so small in comparison to the positives.
Mammon: Do you understand now? Energies are what they are, how you view them and see them is what makes them. You were taught to believe that negative emotions are stronger than positive ones, but that right there was a limitation to your beliefs, it was a block on this road. It meant that negative energies were destined to dominate because you would always be fighting them. If you are always fighting you are always getting weaker until eventually you are crushed under their weight. If the positive energies are stronger and they will dominate and that will take you to where you desire to go. Let these good moments overpower the bad and learn to step away from what is sinking you. Nothing has to be replied to instantly unless you are in immediate danger and you are far from that. Let the good times fill your heart and let them dominate your mind.
Me: Mammon I could write a Christmas story about you, you know..
Mammon: *laughs* what?
Me: Just all your lessons and how every single lesson I have ever learned from you has lead to literally a miracle. I look at the journey and everything you have done for me, everything you have taught me and everything I have learned from you has brought such miracles to my life.
Mammon looked at me and I saw a glint in his eye, a shimmer, a sparkle.
Mammon: You haven’t seen anything yet