A Dance with Mammon – Part 3 : Breaking down

This is a post series that is continued from here.

Golden Idols 

I remember this time in my life well. It was absolutely fascinating on so many levels.  I cannot even begin to describe.  I was a personal assistant of a woman who was incredibly powerful.  She had ins with everyone.  I met some of the most powerful and incredible people on the planet.  I was planted right in the middle of that world .

Mammon had given me the first of MANY amazing gifts.  In an instant he changed my life.  All the discussions we had, the books I had read, the deep and profound Ayn Rand discussions which were some of Mammon’s favourites, the depth we explored that book was one he said that very few people can appreciate. All of it, from all of the work it had manifested in the blink of an eye in this amazing opportunity for me, and I was so grateful.

Don’t kid yourself, I worked like a dog, not just in my personal assistant duties but my boss had a fascination with the occult and with my abilities and talents. I started helping her from other layers.  I would work spells for her and Friday was always Tarot and pizza day.  It was a lot of fun on many levels and grueling on others.  I was responsible for everything and anything they asked.  It was a lot of work but I was in the world. I was inundated in it.

Mammon had aligned me, he had presented this opportunity right in front of me.  That is the beautiful

Jan Brueghel

thing about Mammon, he wanted me to succeed, and though I speak of how he destroyed my life,  my lessons with him so were so amazing and he cared about me so much that he pushed me to the point where everything that was holding me back shattered. He told me it would happen and it is something that is so sacred to me, the lessons that he taught and this pure journey of transformation and initiation that he sent me on.  How he took me, initiated me and basically walked with me to change my life.

This opportunity was amazing.  I toured mansions with the rich, I hung out with millionaires and billionaires, I stayed with a billionaire at his tropical home. I dined with incredibly powerful people.  I understood suddenly.

As I heard them talk I listened to them. I started to understand. It was absolutely amazing.  I worked hard, I worked so hard that at times I worked myself to exhaustion.  I was a good worker and I didn’t complain, that is one reason I was loved so much.

Mammon : You will not stay here forever.  This is temporary, for you are still not in the place that you need to be.  I have placed you here so that you can begin to feel the vibrations and learn from these people.   See how they approach things, learn what they do. This is your classroom and all these individuals are your teachers. I want you to talk to them, ask questions of them, I want you to really embrace this.  This is going to be temporary and it will not be sustainable for you but it is necessary. I have to break you of all the old beliefs that you have.  You enjoy the concepts and the ideas from a philosophical perspective but you have to live them.  You have to really see everything we have talked about in action, that is the only way you are going to be able to replicate it and gain the insights that you need.  You need the back stage pass, the introductions most will never have, you need to inundate yourself in this world and begin to not just serve it, but understand it and rise up and step into it. 

It was then we met my other Mentor, a Man who worked with Djinn and was one of the most powerful men I have ever met.  Not just in business but in magick as well.  It was then I began learning more.  I learned inner workings of the rich, I learned their secrets, I learned about that lifestyle. 

 I also learned about money and the occult and why so many people who practise are broke.  It was designed that way, it is like some sick system that is designed to keep people down.  Things are programmed a very specific way and I started to see the layers of this, I started to understand it and I started to see why it was this way.  It was created to be this way.

The lessons that my mentor taught me were incredible.  He taught me so much about the darkness and between my two mentors, my knowledge of money, wealth and the occult grew and I learned skills that guide me today.  With the combined wisdom of their lessons I started to understand.  I still had no practical application for it though and I still had a lot of blocks to get over.

Watch them Closely

It was my mentor who taught me the most.  When he learned of my occult skills we compared notes and we talked together.  He shared things with me.  Deep secrets that I hold close to my heart to this day.  I find myself looking to his guidance and wisdom in dark times.  I also respected and appreciated his understanding of the darkness. He appreciated it and he was balanced.

Mammon : Do you see what he is doing and what he is teaching you?  I want you to watch him, watch how he speaks to people, watch how he moves his body, watch what he does and how he works things.  This is all very important.  You need to watch him very closely and watch the energy lessons that he teaches. This is the Dark Alchemy of money, he understands it and you need to understand it as well.  You need to learn this practise.  This is what will help you to manifest and attract money to you.  It is how you will transform the energies around you and how you will be able to provide for yourself and your family.  There is a very specific energy that is here and you have to not only understand it but know how to step into it.  

I watched them closely, I listened to their words.  I was a secret spy and I was learning. I learned so much.  These people were fearless, they took action and they didn’t know limits.  They pushed themselves and they conquered their fears.  All of them had had a tragedy that had befallen them.  Some worse than others. Even my mentor I could not believe the horrors that he had been through before he came to Canada.

Mammon : it is not what happens to people it is what they do to rise.  That is something I really want you to pay attention to.  How they overcame these struggled and why these struggles happened in the first place.  It is going to happen to you and it has to happen to you.  I will ensure it does because I told you I would help you and I will.   You need to listen to them and how they were able to overcome what happened to them.  

I listened, I was amazed. One of the most successful women I ever met faced horrors I cannot even begin to imagine. One of the most positive men I ever met was so depressed he almost succeeded in killing himself.  I talked to them, I went to lunch with them I followed Mammon’s advice and I listened. I watched and I learned about them and I learned their stories.  I learned about their experiences and I also learned how they viewed the world and how they saw things. I also learned how they overcame these obstacles.

There were so many funny moments too.  My confidence flooded back from an abyss I had long forgotten.  I felt happy and alive.  I started to really believe in myself.  I told my mentor what happened with the school and he told me fools will always take foolish actions and in the end that is all others will see.  He taught me confidence.

I saw the things that he said and did with his children and he shared with me things I needed to heal things I didn’t even know happened to me as a child.  I began to heal.  I started to connect more with my parents and really embraced my connection with my father, who is very similar to me.  He is a Brilliant man who I go to for advice and who has some of the best facial expressions and one liners.  My whole life started to shift,  but I will still missing a very important piece. 

I remember when it started to end.  I saw the signs, I was absolutely exhausted, but I held on.  I know I held on out of fear and also worry about going it alone. I remember the sleepless nights and the words from Mammon.

Mammon : As I said, this was temporary and your time here is going to an end.  You now need to stop serving them and rise into your own power.  You have to find what you are passionate about, it is a path that you know and that you have felt in your soul your whole life.  This is a path that you have known since you were a child and it is something that you will contribute and bring to the world.  It is something that I know you want.  This is the call of your heart.  There is more out there than you can even realize.  There is more that you have seen, but you have  to take what you have learned and you have to apply it in your life.

I was stubborn though and I held on.  Though at the end of the day I was still driving my boss’s Mercedes, it all had to end.  Especially if I wanted to one day be driving my Mercedes.

Nothing is forever

Illusions in the Darkness

Oh it happened and it crashed so hard it shocked me.  My life fell apart when my boss became ill. Her illness made me unable to continue.  I did have offers from others but Mammon purposely blocked me.  I was pregnant at the time and they were for when I delivered, until then.. I was on my own.  I remember the fear that gripped my heart as the reality of my situation sunk in.   It was going to vanish in the blink of an eye and as fast as it came, it was gone and suddenly I was left with nothing.

Mammon : No, you will not be taking any of them. It is time for you to branch out on your own.  You need to stop panicking… Akelta.. stop panicking and look at me.  This is not as dark as you are making it, you need to look at me and you need to do exactly what I say.  This is your moment, this is your descent into darkness and this will be your story.  You also have a choice right now, you can lose it all or you can stop panicking, shift your focus and rise up.

There was an empty hole in my life and you know the story from here.  I have told it many times.  It was devastating.

The words from the demons were always encouraging and wise.  I talked to many of them during this time.  Not just Mammon.  Satan, Lucifer, Azazel and my personal companions, I begged and pleaded for help and they all gave me little pieces of wisdom and advice, but I admit at the time I was unable to really see it.  Though I remembered it all.

Some knew my position and they would feed me. One woman who is very dear to my heart and still my friend to this day, she would take me to lunch as much as she was in town. She traveled though and had her own children to raise.  She had been through this before, we sat and talked. I asked her what she did. She told me the intimate details of her story and she basically echoed what Mammon was saying to me.  I asked her if she was scared.  She nodded and said there were days she thew her hands up and said IF IT ALL BURNS, IT ALL BURNS!!! She said after a while she got hit with so much she became numb and just didn’t care what happened.  There is something to be said for having nothing to lose.

I fought with Mammon endlessly during this time.  I couldn’t get out of my own way.  I couldn’t grasp this piece of the puzzle that I was missing.  I remember though when  it happened.  It was the first of my snapping that broke me out of where I was.  I remember suddenly it all came together.  It all rose from the shadows like Mammon had gifted it to me….. It was the birth of Satan and Sons.  I took the tools and the skills that I had learned from my time and I wanted to share demons with the world.

It was a gift, a gift from the Demons, and it was everything I had ever wanted and loved.

To be continued here….

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