A Dance with Mammon Part 5: Faith and Transformation
Continued from here..
The Breaking Point
I wished for it all to break and again it did. Unlike the first break, this one tore through my soul. I could not believe the level of destruction that followed. I had a plan. Mammon didn’t like that plan. In the last moment he possessed me and I remember how he changed things. I remember what he did, and it shook the very foundation of my core and of my world. He changed the course and he told me that if I did not take these actions, if I did not do what needed to be done I would lose everything and I would not rise in my power. I had to do this. I had to do this. I was at the edge of a cliff and I had to jump. Well, ok, Mammon pushed me but I am glad he did…… The amount of gratitude I have for these actions looking back, I cannot even begin to describe. The demons were encouraging, they always are. They always have been and they always will be.
Azazel : “The actions that you take today, we will ensure that you keep what you have and that you able to grow and thrive. You will see as time goes on, as you continue to grow and thrive and as you embrace this new level and these new energies you will see how things fall into place. Trust and know that we are working this with you and we will guide you through it all.”
They kept their promise. I was at my breaking point and something had to change again. I had to break again and break I did. I could not handle it anymore. I knew I was still a prisoner. To the depth of my subconscious mind I knew it and when I freed myself it shattered everything. My world crumbled but it left me so free. I was so ready for the next chapter. I had never really been this free before. I had never done anything like this before. It was terrifying but also exhilarating. One of the most important lessons when working with demons is having faith in them and pushing forward and trust in where they are taking you, even when it seems like everything is crashing and burning.
It was challenging. One of the problems with breaking the mould that holds you is that everything breaks with it. I had fears and pains that I thought were long gone, rearing their ugly heads. I had moments I thought I had made a huge mistake. The demons were on top of that one… They reminded me of my reasons why and guided me and through it all.
I found things that I didn’t even know that I had lost. I have never felt as much support as I had during these years. It was through rebuilding it all they were there, they were there in such depth and I had such support in my life. They knew the course and they never let me deviate from it. I never had the chance to run away. They were there walking it with me.
Mammon: “These breaking points are needed. They are the only way that you are going to break out of this pattern and they are the only way you are going to get what you want. Everyone goes through it, you know they do. You have heard all their stories. This is your story and this is where you need to go. This will all work out for you if you trust and have faith and continue walking through it. Let this madness transform you and shape you. Let this new you emerge from the wreckage of your old self. It is the only way. I would not have done this if I did not think that you could handle it and if I didn’t want you to succeed. Success comes from this and the vibration you existed at and were born into did not grant you access to these places. I had to sculpt you and mould you and break you and this is the break. From here I will be able to show you things you never saw before and show you what you need to do to get what you desire.”
Madness and Chaos
My life descended into pure madness, the pieces had dislodged and now it was time for me to walk through it. This is what happens when you really break free. It has to. Everything that made you also holds you in place and to truly break free you really do have to embrace and walk through the chaos. When it first hit me it was horrific. I understand why so many successful people have their story, they have their horror that they have to face. But… from working with demons there was hope… there always is….
Lucifer : “You will go to Akelta… you will help her, trust me. You and her know each other, you are family, she will remember you when you approach her. I will tell you exactly what you have to say.”
This was one of the most amazing moments of my life… I had cast a spell when I was younger. It was a call to my soul family. I called them to me. I wanted to know who was here and I wanted to meet them. Out of the woodwork one came. Through the madness she emerged and she passed all my markers and tests. I have these markers in my mind. They are what allowed me to meet my soul mate. He knew me and I knew him when we met. He was the only romantic interest I had that passed the test and it turned out he was my soul mate. It was the same with my soul family. This one was called by Lucifer.
Prince V and Lucifer worked to get us to meet and get us talking and as soon as we did, it all fell into place. She knew things, things I never told anyone and things that I knew would only be revealed by one who was also there. They told her everything and they told her what had happened. When she contacted me and revealed to me what she knew, I was stunned.
Have you ever had a moment where you wished someone would just appear and tell you that you are not crazy? That they know everything and that the demons had a plan? This happened. As I read her words, words that I never once even hinted at or revealed, I knew she was family and I knew that they had revealed to her what happened to help me. I refocused again as I realized that they were with me and that they were helping me. It was a moment where that thing you ask for that you never thought would happen, happened, and I was not going to waste it. The energies were flowing and moving and it was up to me to shape them and mould them.
Mammon : “You have to shape what you want. You can’t just walk through this chaos, you have to force the new reality. You are drifting and just letting it take you. Focus, FOCUS and go in the direction that you want to go. Right now the energies are broken, they are scattered but you are the master and you have to harness them, summon them, conjure them. You are the conjurer, now conjure and summon the energies and control them. Bend them to your will. You know how to, you have the knowledge and you have been given everything you need. I will show you now, new tools and skills, I will show you how to shape the world and I will show you how to shift and form what needs to come and what you need to do to master this.. Get ready Akelta, your next set of lessons are beginning, are you ready?”
Oh and I was, I couldn’t believe it either. Suddenly everything I had learned fell in line, everything my higher self had guided me to suddenly was useful. It was relevant and it aligned so strongly with everything that was happening. At times I thought there were too many coincidences and I must be crazy, but in the same breath there were way too many coincidences and I knew I was not crazy. It was then and they were shifting things around me, revealing things, opening doors, changing the world. It was incredible and the more things happened the more things opened up. I was stunned and the madness started to be comfortable. It meant the change was coming and it meant that I could carve and mould the world around me. I found myself at home and I embraced a power I had lost long ago.
I remembered my friends telling me I was so spoiled and got everything I desired… yeah… Demons…
My mentor during this time passed away. I have to admit it shook me and scared me even more. I remember one night I stood just staring at the stars wondering what the next course was. My friend Noc said that it was like the passing of a torch, she was right, it was in a way as there is a Satanic Law, the student must overtake the master and claim their own work, add to it and shape it, expanding the next lessons and the next generation. When you are ready the master will appear, and equally when you are ready the master will depart. So it happened my master had passed from this world and I found myself staring into the void, looking for a sign and wondering what to do next.
Azazel : “He is home again. He is happy and he will be able to guide you from another level, similar to how we guide you. You are not alone in this and you will never be alone. Death is only a transition and through his death he will impact you and help you in other ways. When the physical body is weary and it is time the soul moves on but it does not lose it’s power, and he will always be with you, just as I am.”
Azazel has always been able to reach me, in the darkest places, even when my lights all went out and I was left shattered and alone he has reached me and helped me to rise from the ashes and pieces of my own soul.. I was never really alone, even when I thought I was.
Where we all have to walk
I look back on this all from where I am now… The friends, the people, the experiences, I would not trade it for anything. I realize I walked the gauntlet like all of them have. I realized that everything I went through was not Mammon torturing me, it was him challenging me. He knew I could do it and he set it all in motion to give me what I asked for. There are things in your life that define you and these past events have shaped and moulded me and showed me that wherever I go, no matter what happens the demons are with me and I truly am never alone.
I did this all and this was my journey. The cycle repeated itself twice actually. I learned more each time. I kept learning and I kept growing. It is part of the Alchemy of Money. I realized it was part of the growth and that every time I wanted to grow, this was going to happen. I worked with Mammon and I learned how to shift it. I learned how to bend and work with the energies and I realized that this was not something that had to destroy me every time. In fact it was something that would empower me and it was something that would help me grow. It was a dance and it was consistent growth.
I started to see all the patterns and connections and realized that the energies around me were fluid and dynamic. I could command them and bring them to where I wanted to. It is amazing honestly and hindsight is 20/20. Looking back I realized I got everything I asked for. I have consistently gotten everything that I have asked for and it is because they have walked with me.
They have been with me my whole life. They have guided me and walked with me, they have come to me and influenced me in the most profound ways. I have always had a connection with them and I cannot explain it, but it is deep and it influences every part of my journey here. They are my world. I always walked with them, I always loved them, I cherished them and no matter what happens in this life or what has happened, they will always be with me.
I know that every step of the way, everyone of them who I worked with played a role in my liberation, I was grateful for. I know it was a joint effort. I put in my half but they put in theirs. This journey is still growing and I am still growing. The foundation is strong and getting stronger. I have been working S&S and really cleansing the layers and building up the foundation that it deserves and needs.
Mammon : “People fail to see the group effort, they jump from one thing to another and they don’t realize the complex chain of events that often leads to healing, leads to growth and leads to what they want. The gratitude has to flow through the entire sequence of events. The entire process builds on itself. As you grow and change, the world around you changes too. You are able to break free of what held you and enter a state where you are able to move and bend the world around you. It is the power of your mind and it is the power of your core. This is not easy and most people will not do it. They are addicted to their state and they do not want to break free of it, so there they will remain. They will stay comfortable and not go through the challenges that one must go through to rise. The information that you have learned is replicable and repeatable. You can apply it to anything in life and you can use it to continue to grow.
There is still much to learn and I will be here with you for that as well. This journey really never stops for you until your body ceases to function. Let these lessons reveal to you that this is not torture, but a challenge and that your perception will define it. Take it for what it is and move into the next challenge with enthusiasm and excitement. You have seen what happens when you trust and follow us. Continue to do so and let’s see how far you can take it in this life, let’s see how far you will go.”
Faith is one of the keys of this. You have to have faith and you have to be willing to hold that faith even when it all falls apart. When you hold that faith and walk into it, the pieces begin to come together and it all makes sense. So many times I thought it was all going to implode. I had to re-shift my faith and connect to them and as soon as I did it all came together. It all worked just as they always said it did and boy they loved reminding me LOL. It is a process and it is something that builds and grows as you do.
The demons were with me for it all. Even when it seemed like nothing was working, and even when I felt like it was the end of the world they were there. Mammon is one who will guide you. He will kick your ass but he will walk with you though it to the end. You know you work with Mammon when things change and when you start to understand things that you never knew before. He opened up my eyes and showed me the most amazing and incredible things imaginable. They have taught me and guided me and revealed to me what I needed to let go and showed me what I needed to heal.
Freedom, true freedom of the self is exciting and sometimes terrifying. But when you let go and trust, it will take you exactly where you want to go.
My journey with Mammon is far from over and by the end of my life I will probably have volumes written of his lessons, but I will share what I have for now and continue walking and learning with him. I am writing a book with him on Financial Alchemy which I hope to publish by the end of this year. Mammon has changed my life, in every way for the better and I am blessed and honoured to walk with him. I know what an honour and privilege it is and I cannot wait for the next lesson.
Ave Mammon <3