Satan and Suns

Nyctophilia Raven wrote: I consulted with my companions last night, and we've decided that as soon as they're available and I've got some spare cash, I'm going to request a custom Desire Demon, which I know will help, but I won't be able to place a request until the first week of next month, and I have no idea how long it will take to pay off that order.

Is this because they will not be available until next month, or only that is when you can start a down payment? I am very serious about a few DC's in the store, They are practically yelling "What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?" I have not yet decided which to go with first. (Which is my...favorite...way of sabotaging myself) A Desire Demon is right up there near the top. But, they aren't available.

Passchendaele wrote:

Nyctophilia Raven wrote: I consulted with my companions last night, and we've decided that as soon as they're available and I've got some spare cash, I'm going to request a custom Desire Demon, which I know will help, but I won't be able to place a request until the first week of next month, and I have no idea how long it will take to pay off that order.

Is this because they will not be available until next month, or only that is when you can start a down payment? I am very serious about a few DC's in the store, They are practically yelling "What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?" I have not yet decided which to go with first. (Which is my...favorite...way of sabotaging myself) A Desire Demon is right up there near the top. But, they aren't available.

For me it's funding - I get paid once a month, and because I haven't previously budgeted for this, I have to wait until I a) have been paid, and b) can adjust my budget.

And now I'm curious which ones are calling you because I have this overwhelming need to help you sort that out. rofl

Passchendaele wrote:Can people with this need pick up "ambient human energy" at places like concerts?

I've been around a lot of feeders - we tend to collect each other because it's so much easier than trying to explain to outsiders what it's like. I've fed at a concert before, but I was careful about what concert because there have been some concerts where the energy was... filthy for my needs - and I found that concerts, in general, weren't the best place for me. I know that it's common nature for psy-vamps to adore large crowds and concerts because yes, there's SO much energy flung around at concerts, it's like a pinata you don't have to hit.

Aprophis wrote:For me personally it would be interesting to know if you were able to feed from energy creating servitors.I have made one that creates sexual energy so anyone in my keep who needs it can feed on it at any time and just to be sure I had Kelis check on it.

Perhaps the servitors I've been exposed to were not properly programmed for my needs, but I've yet to come across one that has adequately fed me. That's not to say it can't be done - but I feed better from living entities and humans. Servitors are always missing... something. I don't know what. There's a strong correlation between sexual energy and life energy in a lot of mystic traditions, so it's very possible that I can't feed from servitors because they're not alive. I also cannot feed on spirits.

guesswho wrote:As long as the order isn't layaway, the wait time is very short now. I admire your willingness to come out and ask for what you need. I have inherited family trauma that rule me out as a canditate for what you need. You should not have to starve for having healthy policies and boundaries. I see your willingness to reach out - aka - not go through this alone - as the next step for you. Trust that you will have not one pure, strong client, but many. Because it sounds to me that your energy source would potentially benefit from this agreement. A win-win, if you will. You will find the right people.

I admit that making this post was quite terrifying for me - I'm not, generally, a very forward person about my personal needs - my own family trauma. Thank you for the support.


Actually... thank you ALL for the support.

Nyctophilia Raven wrote:

Aprophis wrote:For me personally it would be interesting to know if you were able to feed from energy creating servitors.I have made one that creates sexual energy so anyone in my keep who needs it can feed on it at any time and just to be sure I had Kelis check on it.

Perhaps the servitors I've been exposed to were not properly programmed for my needs, but I've yet to come across one that has adequately fed me. That's not to say it can't be done - but I feed better from living entities and humans. Servitors are always missing... something. I don't know what. There's a strong correlation between sexual energy and life energy in a lot of mystic traditions, so it's very possible that I can't feed from servitors because they're not alive. I also cannot feed on spirits.

Well, I'd say come and try the servitor out. But I have no idea where it is at the moment since I basically just put it in their hands and never looked at it again.
I have to add that I basically made it to connect to the source of my sexual energy, so.........it's basically a sexual energy proxy of myself.

Aprophis wrote:Well, I'd say come and try the servitor out. But I have no idea where it is at the moment since I basically just put it in their hands and never looked at it again.
I have to add that I basically made it to connect to the source of my sexual energy, so.........it's basically a sexual energy proxy of myself.

As it's connected directly to the source of your own sexual energy, it probably would work, actually. Although I wonder - does it amplify or is it a 1-1 ratio? Does draining the servitor have an effect on you?

Dear Raven, have you tried looking for a local vampire group on Meetup? When I was hurting for in-person vampiric and therian contacts I did find one near me, and though I haven't made a habit of going to their gatherings yet, it did seem like a pretty solid group of legit people where such a request would probably have flown very well. The one near me is run by a LHP wolf-kin man who has a need to be fed from by sangs that mirrors our need to feed, which was really interesting. I am sorry I don't have anything more directly helpful...

Actually, here is a story that might trigger some ideas for you: I too am obligated to feed and will sicken without it, though mine goes in the direction of scavenging, transmuting, and sin-eating. I had been getting by on ambient energy, specifically by grounding out harmful energies during face-to-face rituals and worship services, sucking up ambient energies, and moonlight energy.

I have a sang vampire companion -- who does not suffer from the same ethical dilemmas as I do -- who found an old soul-connection in my energy body to an abusive ex and the best way I can describe it is that she sewed a working into that channel so that I am being passively fed a steady stream of human energy without him reaching back through the channel. If there is a possible source like this for you, it might be worth looking into. I didn't do it myself, so I didn't draw the attention, and honestly I don't feel any "dirty" energy coming through it so far.

Divinity Princess and Lowborn Commander. I have an innate affinity for military matters, probably from many past lives as a soldier/sailor/ warrior/ conscript. I do not view war through red white and blue glasses. It is a nasty way to settle disputes and is best left as the very,very last alternative. The people who beat the war drum loudest are never the ones who go to the Front. Armchair Napoleons who always know how the last war should have been fought and they are chomping at the bit to start the next one. They disgust me.

Aprophis wrote:

Nyctophilia Raven wrote:

Aprophis wrote:For me personally it would be interesting to know if you were able to feed from energy creating servitors.I have made one that creates sexual energy so anyone in my keep who needs it can feed on it at any time and just to be sure I had Kelis check on it.

Perhaps the servitors I've been exposed to were not properly programmed for my needs, but I've yet to come across one that has adequately fed me. That's not to say it can't be done - but I feed better from living entities and humans. Servitors are always missing... something. I don't know what. There's a strong correlation between sexual energy and life energy in a lot of mystic traditions, so it's very possible that I can't feed from servitors because they're not alive. I also cannot feed on spirits.

Well, I'd say come and try the servitor out. But I have no idea where it is at the moment since I basically just put it in their hands and never looked at it again.
I have to add that I basically made it to connect to the source of my sexual energy, so.........it's basically a sexual energy proxy of myself.

Maybe you can try creating a servitor that takes the type of energy you need from different individuals (small amounts from each person) and then stores it until you need to feed. That way it won't be energy created by the servitor but the actual human energy and it may be more satisfying for you to feed on it.

Passchendaele wrote:Divinity Princess and Lowborn Commander. I have an innate affinity for military matters, probably from many past lives as a soldier/sailor/ warrior/ conscript. I do not view war through red white and blue glasses. It is a nasty way to settle disputes and is best left as the very,very last alternative. The people who beat the war drum loudest are never the ones who go to the Front. Armchair Napoleons who always know how the last war should have been fought and they are chomping at the bit to start the next one. They disgust me.

Hmmm... If your view of war is that negative (I personally agree with you) I'd start with the Divinity Princess. Although I have two DC's and neither of them have shown any interest in teaching me about war - they have a commanding presence, and are STRONGLY protective, but they usually are more interested in talking to me about the OTHER stuff they specialize in.

If you need a specialist who will push you, a commander is a good choice.

Nyctophilia Raven wrote: As it's connected directly to the source of your own sexual energy, it probably would work, actually. Although I wonder - does it amplify or is it a 1-1 ratio? Does draining the servitor have an effect on you?

It wasn't built to amplify, although that could be changed. It was made to improve the output though. And I haven't really felt any effect that I'm aware of. I'm still the same f*cked up person as before. Not more or less tired/exhausted (unless you mean from depression, but that's a different thing) and not more or less sexually act....err....desiring. Not sure if you can call it active if you're the only one physically involved, heh.

Any sexual activity is activity, man... Celebrate yourself!

If you haven't felt the servitor have any effect on your own energies, maybe you could talk to the spirits and entities you made it for, and ask them how it's working out for them?

I'm... if it's drawing off of your own lifeforce and improving the quality of the energy output for the others, it should be having SOME kind of effect on you because it's still pulling off of you. I would look into that. If you're not feeling more or less tired, if you've felt no change positive or negative... I'm curious as to where the energy is coming from then.

And whether or not you could create some kind of positive feedback towards yourself for that depression issue. A lot of the hormones released during just touch play, but definitely the ones released at orgasm, are hormones that help regulate your mood. If you're having troubles with depression - asking to have the energy that would help you produce the hormones that combat that would be a good idea.


Also, I've noticed that the more touch I get, the less bad I feel. Touch (it does not have to be physical) is a vital part of human health... and even those of us with a little extra are still in mostly human shells, which are affected by touch or the lack of.

Get more hugs. It will help.