{"id":1246,"date":"2018-08-14T17:56:19","date_gmt":"2018-08-14T17:56:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/?p=1246"},"modified":"2018-09-06T18:35:29","modified_gmt":"2018-09-06T18:35:29","slug":"a-dance-with-mammon-part-4-destruction-and-annihilation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/a-dance-with-mammon-part-4-destruction-and-annihilation\/","title":{"rendered":"A Dance with Mammon – Part 4 – Destruction and Annihilation"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post is continued from here…<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Empires in the Sand<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"The
The path moves on<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The initial foundation was rocky.\u00a0\u00a0I knew it was.\u00a0\u00a0There were elements of my old self that still held and bound me to a place.\u00a0\u00a0Fears, inner fears from my time being bullied as a child that kept me down and I had manifested the situation that seemed to enforce that.\u00a0\u00a0It was like a vicious cycle that I could not break out of.\u00a0\u00a0It kept happening and it was frustrating me.\u00a0\u00a0The cycles they just kept getting worse and more and more destructive.\u00a0\u00a0I was in a downward spiral and I could not stop it.<\/p>\n

My first mentor told me that he was so proud of me and I did not want to let him down.\u00a0\u00a0I remember feeling the blocks and pushing through them.\u00a0\u00a0He told me that I had to be careful who I let in my energies.\u00a0\u00a0We did not talk as much has we used to as he had things in his life that he was dealing with.\u00a0\u00a0But I was always happy to hear his wisdom and knowledge when we did talk. In the end though, this chapter was about me. About me rising and claiming the energies and stepping out of the shadows and breaking all these binds.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I realized in that moment I was moving into a new chapter, I had to rise up and step into a new level of myself.\u00a0\u00a0I knew it was coming and the old strings were breaking and snapping.<\/p>\n

They held me strong and I remember the times I fought with them, the trials and the challenges that I faced.\u00a0\u00a0It was brutal, it was painful and it was devastating.\u00a0I thought the last challenge was hard but this one was in a way even worse.\u00a0\u00a0And it was of my own creation. It was also the foundation of everything I wanted to create. I was learning every step of the way but I was also being beaten down. I was learning to rise up but there were pieces in myself that kept me down and they were manifesting around me.\u00a0\u00a0I remember my Mentor speaking about manifesting and how it can be a reflection of what was within. I looked around and realized I had a lot of work to do.\u00a0\u00a0My insides were a mess and that was becoming VERY apparent.<\/p>\n

I admit during this time I sank again. I trusted the wrong people, I let in the wrong energies and I witnessed firsthand how damaging that can be.\u00a0\u00a0I walked through the abyss, teetering on the brink of the void.\u00a0\u00a0It was so frustrating.\u00a0\u00a0I could not get a grasp of what I needed and though this beautiful creation was before me, at times it became a beast that threatened to swallow me whole.\u00a0\u00a0I realized that it was my own energies that were threatening to swallow me whole.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What had I done\u2026..<\/em><\/p>\n

Mammon :<\/strong> Well look what you are working with. You have to remove a lot of things but you brought in terrible energies, why did you do that?\u00a0\u00a0Do not mention this to anyone until it is time but this has to change. I know that right now you are riddled with pregnancy hormones and they are adding a layer of complexity to this, but for now allow yourself to heal, I will help you shift this and I will help you free yourself of these energies but you will have to trust me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Me :<\/strong> I trust you Mammon, everything you have said will happen, has.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I clung to him, he was my salvation. I was having so many emotional challenges that I was facing and it was his words and his lessons that I clung to.\u00a0\u00a0It was him that was stable and I knew what he wanted me to do.\u00a0\u00a0I knew what I had to do, but I was not sure if I could do it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mammon :<\/strong> You need a better foundation for this empire. Right now this is a foundation of sand and it is going to crumble and be sucked into the abyss.\u00a0\u00a0You need to remember what you learned and you need to listen to your instinct. You are seeing things and you know that those working with you do not share this vision, your path is different.\u00a0\u00a0You will be branching out and you will be moving in a different direction.\u00a0\u00a0You need to be in a creative space and right now you are in a very destructive space.\u00a0\u00a0This is because the energies inside of you that are being released have been creating this situation and you need to challenge this.\u00a0\u00a0You need to rise above it and you need to change the course that is being laid before you.\u00a0\u00a0This will continue to manifest until you change this.\u00a0\u00a0Until you change, the energies within this situation will keep manifesting.\u00a0\u00a0I will help you though. I will show you how to do this but until you do, your foundation is going to crack and eventually shatter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh gods, do I remember the first time that happened.\u00a0\u00a0I remember when the first crack in the foundation appeared.\u00a0\u00a0It was devastating and It really affected and destroyed me.\u00a0\u00a0The ripples from it actually only released and cleared this year.\u00a0\u00a0It took 5 years for me to clear that crack and repair what happened there.\u00a0\u00a0Healing deep shadows is not something that happens over night. It can indeed happen fast, but sometimes it needs to work through the layers and come out layer by layer.\u00a0\u00a0Sometimes you will attract things to you that are similar, and the situations will repeat over and over and over again.<\/p>\n

When it happened it was like half the empire fell and sank into the ground and I was sitting there holding it up with my hands. Sobbing and bleeding as I was losing to the massive weight of the structure before me.\u00a0\u00a0I held out as long as I could..\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What would you tell Atlas\u2026 To Shrug\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

NO!! Just NO!! MAMMON YOU STOP THAT!!\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I fought and I fought and I fought, I needed to hold this together. This was my dream, this was my passion\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

This is killing you\u2026 just stop\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

NO!!\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I screamed in the darkness but my problems were getting worse and worse and the weight was becoming unbearable.\u00a0\u00a0I was tortured during this time. I was abused in different ways and it was not by the demons, it was from elements of my own creation.\u00a0\u00a0My damned mind seemed ever intent on self-cannibalizing itself! Oh how my mutilation demons took delight in what I was doing and made sure they pointed it out.\u00a0\u00a0Mammon was relentless in his lessons and he had no problem telling me what I had to do.<\/p>\n

These are just elements that you need to remove..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I DON\u2019T KNOW HOW!!<\/em><\/p>\n

That is because you are still a prisoner\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You are Still a Prisoner.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He was right, I was a prisoner. I fought with myself and I couldn\u2019t break the chains.\u00a0\u00a0It was like a vicious cycle.\u00a0\u00a0It kept happening and it was driving me insane! I could not take more of these cracks.\u00a0\u00a0It was like like trying to keep back a dam that was cracking, I was racing against time and racing against the water as it pushed onward.\u00a0\u00a0The problem was, I was fighting against something that was effortless and natural.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0All my efforts were in vain.<\/p>\n

Mammon :<\/strong> It will happen until you break it. When something keeps happening over and over again it is because you have not learned the lesson, so you keep repeating it looking for something different, looking to change it.\u00a0\u00a0You have to break out of this cycle and you have to be the one to change it. And yes it is going to hurt, but you have to make this change in you.\u00a0\u00a0You are in the energy that created this problem and you need to change your focus and change what you would do.\u00a0\u00a0You need to shift to a new perspective, this ability if something that is inside of you.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u00a0it is people around me, what the hell am I doing wrong?! This is external!<\/p>\n

Mammon :<\/strong> That is the illusion, this is internal. This is a prison of your own mind and your own inner energies are creating this. These people are crossing your path because you have their vibrations locked away in you and you need to challenge it and you need to realize what is causing this.\u00a0\u00a0Look inside of you, look at the patterns. True transformation comes from within.\u00a0\u00a0The answer is within.\u00a0\u00a0Look where it comes from and look what started it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My prison was the bullies again, somewhere in my mind I thought I deserved it.\u00a0\u00a0I thought I deserved to be treated that way. In the dark shadows of my mind I felt that this was just.\u00a0\u00a0I felt like I had to bend and cave to this, so I did.\u00a0\u00a0I let myself fall into line instead of standing up\u2026 why did I do that\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

That perplexed me. What was I so afraid of? Where was this horrible fear? What was this? Why did I stay down until I snapped?\u00a0\u00a0When I snapped it was usually ugly, but getting to that point, why did it take me so long\u2026 What was this?\u00a0\u00a0He was right, this pattern had repeated too much, I was a prisoner in my own mind.\u00a0\u00a0My mind was out of control with scenarios and how the hell I was going to do this\u2026.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mammon :<\/strong> The only way you will change it is to do what you would not do, break the pattern. Do something different and release yourself from this.\u00a0\u00a0That is the only way you will succeed.\u00a0\u00a0You have to look at what you have done and do what terrifies you. Do what scares you and what will take you to where you want to go.\u00a0\u00a0Ask yourself, what do you want?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I said it out loud. I told him what I wanted, I told him exactly what I wanted.\u00a0\u00a0I laid in out in as much detail as I could.\u00a0\u00a0I wanted to be free of this.\u00a0\u00a0I wanted the means to release and let go of the broken foundation and remove the pieces that were causing the cracks.\u00a0\u00a0I wanted to then build a strong and solid foundation.\u00a0\u00a0I sobbed as I told him, I knew what I wanted. I knew what I had to do, I knew what I wanted.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mammon :<\/strong> Get as clear as you can. The clearer you are, the easier this will be.\u00a0\u00a0You have to be clear with this and you have to know what you want and go for it no matter what happens.\u00a0\u00a0I will help you make it happen. I will show you what you need to do.<\/p>\n

Me :<\/strong> Yes Mammon.. this is exactly what I want.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Be Careful What you Wish for.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"Strong
Strong Roots<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yes, I wished for it, I wished for it all.\u00a0\u00a0Mammon sat with me.\u00a0\u00a0He would sit with me for hours and he was much more gentle with me this time.\u00a0\u00a0We talked and talked and planned.\u00a0\u00a0He told me things that I needed to hear and he helped me to break out of where I was.\u00a0\u00a0I remember I asked, and I kept asking.\u00a0\u00a0I needed to be sure this was the way.\u00a0\u00a0I hate sometimes how analytical I am, it slows me down but it has also helped me to navigate situations and find the best course.\u00a0\u00a0Though ok sometimes the best course keeps you pinned where you are and you have to do something bold and outlandish to break free.\u00a0\u00a0This is what I was resisting.\u00a0\u00a0Why did I have to do this!!??<\/p>\n

Azazel joined in at times and I remember the talks with Azazel.\u00a0\u00a0He told me things, he told me things that I had to do.\u00a0\u00a0He told me what I would have to do in order to make the changes.\u00a0\u00a0My own abilities were the very thing keeping me hostage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Azazel :<\/strong> I will be with you through all of this.\u00a0\u00a0Trust what you know in your heart. There is going to be a lot of lies and a lot of false information spread. You have to trust what is in your heart and what you know to be true.\u00a0\u00a0When you are breaking out like this, you have to listen to us and the light within. You cannot listen to the voices and whispers around you.\u00a0\u00a0Know what I am telling you and know that we will get you through this.\u00a0\u00a0Breaking and changing your internal mental conditioning is not easy, but we are here to guide you and we are here to help you through it.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0You have to stop thinking and just do. You have to accept the consequences of what is to come and you have to rise above everything that is going to happen.\u00a0\u00a0I will be here with you through it all.<\/p>\n

They guided me but they also made sure to that I promised him to keep an element of secrecy to this all at this time. I had a date picked. I knew the date I was going to do it.\u00a0\u00a0I had to, for these were personal and they were sacred.\u00a0\u00a0Speaking about them now I can release them, but at the time the wounds were dragging me under and I needed to release them.\u00a0\u00a0The plans we made ,the strategies planned, it was very carefully made but I think I knew in my heart how badly it was going to shake everything, how it was going to change absolutely everything about me and the course of my life..<\/p>\n

At this point Satan was also a huge influence in my life.\u00a0\u00a0He was one who assisted me with the shadow work I so desperately needed.\u00a0\u00a0I had a lot that needed to be shifted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Satan :<\/strong> When you are walking here, never lose track of your focus and never lose track of your own vision.\u00a0\u00a0Walk through it and hold true to where you are going.\u00a0\u00a0Stay focused,\u00a0\u00a0know what you want and we will take you there.\u00a0\u00a0Though the turbulence, through the storms, through the disasters, we will guide you.\u00a0\u00a0The darkness is beautiful and it is a great teacher. It will teach you and it will test you.\u00a0\u00a0I will show you the way through this.\u00a0\u00a0Faith in where you want to go, believing that you can get there, continuing to take the action no matter what is said to you and no matter how others try to shift you away, that is essential.\u00a0\u00a0The drive, the determination, the will to go forward, the will to do the work, the will to push through and see this through to the end.\u00a0\u00a0Focus on your growth, focus on your work, your work with us. Focus on what you have to do and what needs to happen for your goals to come true.\u00a0\u00a0The stronger your faith is in us, the more we can influence what happens and the more we can bring it to life.\u00a0\u00a0Transform and release what holds you back, let it go and go towards what you desire.\u00a0\u00a0Go towards what you want and don\u2019t listen to anyone who tells you that you can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We planned and planned and planned. That is the thing about planning, eventually you have to act. Planning only takes you so far, talking will only take you to far\u2026 there comes a time where you just have to act.\u00a0\u00a0Action is the only thing that creates results. Action is the only thing that takes you forward.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>I don\u2019t think anyone will ever realize just what the demons did.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t even know the full extent and I have been told I will not know fully until I die.\u00a0\u00a0I am just so grateful and happy they were there for me.\u00a0\u00a0I needed the support and I needed the guidance and it was there.\u00a0\u00a0They never once left my side and everything that they said would happen, came to fruition.\u00a0\u00a0The times were hard and challenging but looking back on it, the whole experience strengthened my faith in them. It also showed me just how amazing they are and just how amazing I am.<\/p>\n

I was tested though.\u00a0\u00a0What came next tested every part of me.\u00a0\u00a0It tested every part of my being and tested every part of my soul.\u00a0\u00a0I looked at the void before me and I jumped.<\/p>\n

I jumped and I trusted. I trusted in them and I let the void tear me to shreds.<\/p>\n

To be continued\u2026.here<\/a><\/p>\n

Save<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n

Save<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post is continued from here…   Empires in the Sand   The initial foundation was rocky.\u00a0\u00a0I knew it was.\u00a0\u00a0There<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1247,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[45,55,44],"tags":[56,565,564,89],"class_list":["post-1246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-akelta","category-mammon","category-personal-2","tag-mammon","tag-stories-of-mammon","tag-walking-with-mammon","tag-working-with-mammon"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/fantasy-3281795_1920.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p85Bj0-k6","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1246"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1282,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1246\/revisions\/1282"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}