{"id":1221,"date":"2018-08-03T17:34:20","date_gmt":"2018-08-03T17:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/?p=1221"},"modified":"2018-08-08T23:21:45","modified_gmt":"2018-08-08T23:21:45","slug":"a-dance-with-mammon-part-2-trial-and-error","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/a-dance-with-mammon-part-2-trial-and-error\/","title":{"rendered":"A Dance with Mammon – Part 2 : Trial and Error"},"content":{"rendered":"

Continued from this post here…<\/a><\/p>\n

Happiness before the Storm. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Travels\"
Travels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So I did what Mammon said.\u00a0\u00a0I read the books and I did it dutifully.\u00a0\u00a0I worked my way through those books and even when they frustrated me, I read them.\u00a0\u00a0I started to enjoy it actually, it was really nice to just be able to sit and read and explore the different ideas and topics.\u00a0\u00a0It was enjoyable.\u00a0\u00a0I would read the books and settled into a routine.\u00a0\u00a0I loved to sit there for hours and just read, indulging in the world of books.\u00a0\u00a0The topics I read were fascinating, the authors were incredible.\u00a0\u00a0I loved their ideas and I started to see Mammon\u2019s view of the world.\u00a0\u00a0I started to understand why he was having me read them.<\/p>\n

I got into rhythm reading them.\u00a0\u00a0I started to push through them really fast and before I knew it, I had completed all of them! I was so proud, I went back to Mammon and asked to seek council with him.<\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201cSo what have you learned?\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI need to really step out of my way of thinking.\u00a0\u00a0I need to challenge how I am looking at things.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201c Yes, your mindset is the biggest hindrance and it will be.\u00a0\u00a0Trust me, it is not over yet and your greatest battle is really just beginning.\u00a0\u00a0You have learned some new things and you are excited, but implementing it is going to be grueling. You are going to have to fight the entire essence of your programs.\u00a0\u00a0You grew up in a family that has no entrepreneurs, they are all highly educated which is good if you want a job, but to pursue being an entrepreneur you are going to have to fix something in you that was destroyed.\u00a0\u00a0Something in you that has been destroyed for generations in your family.\u00a0\u00a0That is your confidence.\u00a0\u00a0You can be an idiot and make it if you have enough confidence and stubbornness to carry the wave.\u00a0\u00a0Those men and women who succeed and rise to the top, they have something. They carry an energy that most do not and that most never will. You have to study them, you have to immerse yourself in their energies and you need to begin to understand them and their vibrations.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhere do I find these people?\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201cThat is one of your first tasks. You will have to find them and immerse yourself in them.\u00a0\u00a0Also I want you to notice how you feel when we converse.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI feel amazing honestly, you make sense, the clouds clear, I notice I don\u2019t feel sad, I don\u2019t feel depressed, my anxiety also is noticeably reduced.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

Mammon: “Your anxiety and depression is another illusion, those things will have to be overcome.\u00a0\u00a0You feel this way around me because I am of a high vibration and the fog that you are stuck in clears.\u00a0\u00a0This is something that you will need to face in yourself, the source of this, you will need to do shadow work to fully release it and you will need to start going into the darkness of your subconscious and working to pull out all the limiting beliefs that you have.\u00a0\u00a0You need to challenge your views and figure out which ones serve you and which ones hinder you.\u00a0\u00a0There is a lot of work ahead of you. Right now you don\u2019t have a direction and you still have a lot of lessons to learn.\u00a0\u00a0I am here though and I will teach you.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

My fathers words… “it’s a paper tiger and every day you have to face it and every day you have to win… remember it is a paper tiger.” <\/strong><\/p>\n

This part of the journey was a lot of fun.\u00a0\u00a0We discussed the philosophies in the books. My mentor would send me new books weekly to read and I really felt like I was doing things.\u00a0\u00a0My mentor as well would speak to me of business and of success and he would share with me tidbits and secrets.\u00a0\u00a0The time with my mentor was magickal.\u00a0\u00a0The emails we shared back and forth, the conversations and the lessons will always hold a special place in my heart.\u00a0\u00a0 My mentor always encouraged me and I pushed myself hard and wanted to make him proud.<\/p>\n

As I learned more and more, the sessions with Mammon became more fascinating.\u00a0\u00a0He is brilliant how his mind works.\u00a0\u00a0He understands business and commerce, he is a genius and his theories are incredible as are his views of the world. He is unapologetically Mammon.<\/p>\n

Though the spiritual element was incredibly productive, my physical life was in absolute ruins. I see many occultists end up here.\u00a0\u00a0Spiritually sound by physically broke, well I was there.\u00a0\u00a0I hated it, I thought if I cannot manifest or create more than a couple of bucks here and there I don\u2019t deserve to call myself an occultist.\u00a0\u00a0I had to get over this!!<\/p>\n

Mammon : \u201cIt is a block, most people have no understanding or knowledge of. Money, they hate it, they think it is evil, they don\u2019t understand the vast history of it or what it represents.\u00a0\u00a0But don\u2019t worry, I am going to teach you\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

And boy did he teach me.<\/p>\n

Nothing is working!<\/strong><\/p>\n

So I set out to learn, it was honestly terrible.\u00a0\u00a0My life continually fell apart, one thing after the other. I was getting hit and<\/p>\n

\"Lost\"
Lost<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

smacked.\u00a0\u00a0I honestly thought at times I was being assaulted, attacked, decimated.\u00a0\u00a0I was in nursing school then and I hated it. I was trying to start up an internet business while in nursing school but there was so much happening, it really was distracting from my attention.\u00a0\u00a0Nursing school was not for me. I am far too opinionated and vocal to comply with them.\u00a0\u00a0I speak out when I see acts of elder abuse happening and I was disgusted with the treatment of patients and my protests were met with\u2026 well then maybe you should not be in nursing school.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah.. maybe..<\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201cSo you want to be a nurse? I thought you wanted to be an entrepreneur?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWell I do, but I can make good money with\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

The look he gave me made me stop talking.<\/p>\n

Mammon : \u201cYou can only choose one.\u00a0\u00a0Do you choose safety and the road you know the end of?\u00a0\u00a0Your family have all pursued that road, you know where it ends and it is safe. The road you want to take though, it is dangerous and it is new. You don\u2019t know what is around the corner and you have no idea what the next step is.\u00a0\u00a0It is terrifying and the chance of failure is much higher than if you take the safe road of being a nurse.\u00a0\u00a0You hate it Akelta, admit it to yourself. It isn\u2019t even an intellectual profession that you want to do.\u00a0\u00a0You hate everything about it and you are only here because of a sense of duty to your family line.\u00a0\u00a0This is honestly the easiest path that you can take and it will lead you to misery and unhappiness.\u201c <\/strong><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t deny I hated it and every part of my body screamed to get out.\u00a0\u00a0The pain of staying was overpowering the desire to stay, the safety of a high paying job with benefits\u2026 god damn I was starting to sound like my mother.. ok I had to get out.\u00a0\u00a0I remember the day I walked away from nursing school.\u00a0\u00a0I shook as I deferred my admission.\u00a0\u00a0I had a year to decide if I wanted to go back or not.\u00a0\u00a0My mom was horrified but I knew I had made the right decision.<\/p>\n

I then tried different things.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I took lots of Anthropology courses, I loved them.\u00a0\u00a0I really was passionate about them.\u00a0\u00a0I took Anthropology, Archaeology, Language Studies, History, it was fascinating and really called to me.\u00a0\u00a0I especially was captivated with the Religious and Spiritual studies of Anthropology.\u00a0\u00a0I knew from a child, spirituality was where I held passion, but I didn\u2019t know you could get employment.\u00a0\u00a0It went against what I was taught.\u00a0\u00a0But I took them and even though I had no direction and no course of where this was going to take me, I took the classes because they were fascinating and I just wanted to learn.<\/p>\n

I came upon energy healing and I was fascinated.\u00a0\u00a0I found a Reiki Master and paid for all four courses and within a year I had attained my mastership.\u00a0\u00a0I was so excited I began doing energy healing and I thought that I had found my calling.\u00a0\u00a0My reiki master was open minded and she knew I worked with demons and she let me call in Lucifer for the archangel portion of the attunement.\u00a0\u00a0It was a very positive and empowering experience and I really thought that I had found my calling.<\/p>\n

I ended up taking an energy healing course that covers all aspects of energy healing and is a three year course.\u00a0\u00a0Well I was too dark for them and they didn\u2019t like me.\u00a0\u00a0They created a story about me and basically pushed me out of the class.\u00a0\u00a0Oh I hated them.\u00a0\u00a0The hatred in me rose.\u00a0\u00a0I was distraught and it increased and destroyed me on some level.\u00a0\u00a0I remember looking at my black magick books and lessons from my mentor, wondering if I should take this road.\u00a0\u00a0If I should\u2026 It was so tempting.\u00a0\u00a0I sighed and felt Mammon behind me.<\/p>\n

Mammon : \u201cThat was not your path, they are nothing and they will amount to nothing. They are not the types of people that you want to associate with, they are scum. You will see in time what scum they are and this is a lesson to shift you and change the course of your path.\u00a0\u00a0Do not be ashamed of what they say. You have to get over what people say about you. You have to not care and know that people will say things, they will say horrible and barbaric things about you.\u00a0\u00a0When they do that it reveals more abut them than about you.\u00a0\u00a0It reveals where they are and it shows that these are not people that you wish to associate with.\u00a0\u00a0You have to not care what people say about you, you have to get over this shame that you hold.\u00a0\u00a0It comes from your family, but it will only stagnate you in this path.\u00a0\u00a0Those who cannot, will cut down others. Make your choice, do you want to build? Or do you want to destroy?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I knew he was right on some level, but I was distraught. My attempts to get a formal education were being ripped from me faster than I could regain my balance.\u00a0\u00a0I finished with the Anthropology studies but in the end I chose to walk away from school.\u00a0\u00a0It was destroying all my efforts to build a business and Mammon was right, it was my safety and it was stopping me from attaining what I desired.<\/p>\n

I left school for good.\u00a0\u00a0I remember walking away from it.\u00a0\u00a0There was so much fear in my heart and so much anger and frustration.\u00a0\u00a0But I had made my choice. I was choosing to do this, I was throwing myself in and going all out. I was going to build this life and I was not looking back.\u00a0\u00a0As I walked away from the school for the last time, I didn\u2019t even look back.<\/p>\n

Your vibrations are horrible!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I found solace being a maid.\u00a0\u00a0I took a job as a maid.\u00a0\u00a0The money was not bad, I loved the clients, I felt that in this job I actually got to be kind and civil to the elderly.\u00a0\u00a0I have a lot of respect for maids, my family are all intellectuals, and there is unspoken mindset that maid work is somehow less, but doing that job and stepping into that place I found I broke that program.\u00a0\u00a0I got too comfortable though.<\/p>\n

I was still trying to build up my internet business.\u00a0\u00a0I was taking the odd Reiki Job on the side and doing Tarot card readings and teaching classes on how to see and draw auras on the side.\u00a0\u00a0But I was quite content being a maid.\u00a0\u00a0It was relaxing work and I had a lot of time to just think and ponder.\u00a0\u00a0I loved getting lost in the cleaning but It really was not what I wanted to do and it was not where my heart was.<\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201cYou are never going to get anywhere like this.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Me : “I know, I do feel happy though.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201cNo you are not, you are content and complacent.\u00a0\u00a0I told you go forth and find those of the vibration that you want to be at. You do not want to be at this vibration, it has nothing to do with the job of a maid. If you wanted to be a maid then I would say go forth and do it and do it the best that you can do, but\u2026 You don\u2019t want that. You want something so much more and you need to get out of this energy.\u00a0\u00a0You need to get away from these energies and you need to step into the energies of what you want to do.\u00a0\u00a0That is what you are missing, you keep drifting from familiar energy to familiar energy. You need to do something new, you need to do something you have never done before.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

He was right and I knew he was.\u00a0\u00a0I decided to find these people.\u00a0I started looking into different sorts of business and I started to really expand my understanding of the world.\u00a0\u00a0I looked at the different types of things people did.\u00a0\u00a0I studied the rich and the elite and I became fascinated by their brains and why they do what they do.\u00a0\u00a0I sought out the people that Mammon told me to and I found them.\u00a0\u00a0They are not hard to find when you look.<\/p>\n

I hung around them but still nothing in my life was working.<\/p>\n

Mammon: \u201cThat is because your vibrations are terrible! They are horrible. You are still coming at this at the vibration you have always been at, you actually have to get out of this place that you are so comfortable in.\u00a0\u00a0Immerse yourself in their energies and then you have to get ready to change when the shifts start to happen.They are going to be uncomfortable and they are going to test you.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n

I continued to diligently meet with these people and talk to them.\u00a0\u00a0I helped them out, I volunteered for them, I worked as hard as I could.\u00a0\u00a0I pushed myself hard and I asked questions.\u00a0\u00a0I asked millions and millions of questions.\u00a0\u00a0I knew though something was eluding me, I knew I didn\u2019t have it. I was lacking what they had. I was missing the key components of this. I could see it and it frustrated me, they all seemed to have it. It was an energy and when I scanned myself it just wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0\u00a0I even tried taking some and studying it but it disappeared and continued to elude me.\u00a0\u00a0Mammon laughed at me when I did that.<\/p>\n

Mammon : \u201cYes you are missing the piece. You can\u2019t even see it, you cannot even perceive it.\u00a0\u00a0You have a part of it though. You need to continue and you need to push through this and the horrors that are going to fall on you. You need to push through them.\u00a0\u00a0No matter what happens and what goes on you have to commit to it and move forward into it.\u00a0\u00a0This energy has to come from within, it has to rise from a dark place of the soul, the place of creation and passion.\u00a0\u00a0It has to rise from there and be brought into the world through your actions and your conviction.\u00a0\u00a0You are getting closer, you are being noticed and soon you will be given an opportunity. It is going to change you and you need to take it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

A woman\u2019s voice approached me\u2026 \u201cI have an opportunity for you, I need an assistant and I have heard good things about you.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I quit my job as a maid and I took the opportunity.\u00a0\u00a0I became a personal assistant to the rich and the elite.<\/p>\n

To be continued here…<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Save<\/span>Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Continued from this post here… Happiness before the Storm. So I did what Mammon said.\u00a0\u00a0I read the books and I<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1222,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[45,55,44],"tags":[327,56,89],"class_list":["post-1221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-akelta","category-mammon","category-personal-2","tag-lessons-from-mammon","tag-mammon","tag-working-with-mammon"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/trees-3464777_1920.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p85Bj0-jH","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1221","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1221"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1221\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1237,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1221\/revisions\/1237"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1222"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1221"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1221"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/satanandsuns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1221"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}