She looked at me holding the card. “This is your personal darkness.. Your personal terror that is creating the fear and causing you to sabotage yourself. Do you know how much further ahead you would be if you faced her, if you won?” The skilled demoness looked at me with those sharp eyes, eyes that I had come to trust, eyes that I had come to know, ever since my first reading. Her words cut through my mind..
Do you know how much further ahead you would be if you faced her….
We all have shadows and monsters in our darkness that if we are not careful can claim us. They terrorize us, they implant us with fears and insecurities. They are programs, sometimes of our own creation and sometimes of another who has abused and harmed us. This is why shadow work is so important, because it is these programs that act on us from the darkness and if we are not careful they will sabotage our efforts and destroy us.
A dream I had revealed one of mine…
I was walking through a mansion. It was an old mansion and this section of the house had not been taken very good care of. It was beautiful but seemed to have succumbed to the passage of time and neglect. It made me sad to walk through it for there was so much beauty that was being concealed by the darkness and the negative fog that seemed to linger and cause rot and decay to all that it touched.
I realized this was a part of my mind that I had neglected and allowed to fall to decay from focusing too much on stress and not shifting my gaze on what I have and am creating. Walking through the mind and experiencing its imagery reveals many lessons. I realized this was me, the sides of myself that I had neglected, the sides of myself that I had let fall into ruin.
As I walked, sadness overtook me and I became aware of portraits. They were occasionally on the wall. They depicted a creature that sent chills down my spine. It was a female form dressed in black. Her hair was long and covered most of her. It was also like straw and string. The figure looked ghoulish and haggish. I looked at it and realized I was scared of this image.
I moved away from it and continued walking. I was not sure why I was afraid of it, but the dread and fear loomed in me and continued to grow. I walked past another picture. This figure was closer in the picture. There are more portraits down the hall and in each one she was getting closer and closer to me. I kept going.
I opened a door and there was a party on the other side. My friends were there and it was a lovely celebration. We were all wearing cute doll dresses and having a wonderful tea party. I had a very gothic looking dress on with a corset and a cute little top hat that was pinned slightly to the side. I had on the most amazing boots. I love boots and need to find a pair!! I was sitting drinking tea and suddenly it all went dark. I gasped and dropped my cup, I heard it shatter.
I looked down then looked up and she was there. She flashed right before me and was standing there. I gasped and shocked myself awake.
Me: What was that?
Tiger: A bad dream my love, but a very relevant one. What you experienced there was something that needs to clear in you. It is something that is acting to throw you off balance and knock you from where you want to go.
Me: I am afraid I will see it in the darkness.
Tiger: No, it was in your mind and that is where it will reside, until you heal what needs to be healed. The fact that it made itself known shows that you are very close. Very very close indeed.
I felt him pull me into him as I felt safe and protected. I relaxed and snuggled into him. The darkness faded and I felt myself relax. We stayed together, just talking and being in each other’s energies. I love just being with him. I closed my eyes and started to drift off to sleep, then I felt something else in the room.
My eyes shot open. There was another presence there.
I sat up. I saw him there, he was before me. I had been working on preparing the ritual for Andras and had been leaving out offerings and working to connect with him. Here he was.
Tiger cocked his head almost amused at my being shocked : After all this time working with us you still get surprised when one visits you at night.
Me: *laughs* yes I am not sure I will ever get use to that. Andras, thank you so much it is an honour to work with you again.
Andras: Akelta, we have a lot of work to do it seems. I know that you wish to work with me and I know that you wish to break this fear that is imprisoning you. Also, part of you embracing your confidence will be in accepting that yes, we will visit you and assist you. We have been doing it your whole life and we will continue to. We have guided you, inspired you and walked with you. This is your path and always will be. We have showed up throughout your life when you have needed us most and when you are ready for your next lessons.
Me: I can see how my reactions are tied into my confidence. I know the source of it is fear.
Andras: This fear that you have, it is preventing you from attaining so much. It is limiting your potential and your ability to manifest. You are sabotaging yourself in the worst way possible. The fear keeps you fixated on what is going on around you, what is happening external to you. External things that you cannot control, and fixating on that you are engaging in those energies and in that world. By even engaging these energies as you are, you are lowering yourself and your vibrations and it is preventing you from rising.
Me: I know, this is getting hammered into me.
Andras: And you will take it *grins* because it will help you. The faster you get over this, the faster you will be doing what you want to be doing.
Me: I know you are right. *I moved and stretched, I was experiencing incredible pain in my back, shoulder, and neck*
Andras: That is your stress point. It is where you are holding all of this pain and discomfort. (He took a claw and stuck it in my energies and I felt the tight energy release). Right there in that spot. That is where you are holding your fears, your doubts and your limiting beliefs. It is all centred in that one area. This is how you are able to do so much and create, you have contained them all in this single point, but it causes you pain and damage. With all the growth you have done they are starting to caught problems as you can no longer suppress them. It is time for them to be released. It is time for you to step away from this reality and to begin creating a new one. You need to reshape yourself and rewrite your mindset. I will show you how to do this. I will show you how to crush this fear and free yourself to unlimited possibilities and potentials. I will help you embrace a confidence that you have never felt before. I will reshape you and mould you, crushing and destroying everything that is holding you back. But I am going to break you, I am going to break your beliefs, I am going to break and crush everything and you will do everything that I say if you want to get ahead.
He moved the energy and I relaxed and felt it release. I felt instantly better in that moment and I know that he was going to be able to help me. Just as Lucifer said he would.
Me: I accept. I am ready Andras.
Andras: *evil grin* no you’re not, but you will need that enthusiasm.