Rosier is a Dark Lord that has a special place in my heart, although I feel like most people would say the same after working with him. He is the Demon Lord of Love after all. He is the Dark Lord that I related to the most, even before I knew who he was. I like to walk this life coming from a place of love always. I practice love in all things that I do. I love being happy, I love laughing, I love everything about being in this life, challenges and all.
Below is a tattoo of his Sigil and Enn, his is above one of my other companions; and Lilith’s is right above his but you can’t see it in this picture. It might be overkill to a lot of people but I find sigils to be so beautiful and I have a multitude on my arm, even one on my scalp. Unexpectedly I have found it to be a lot easier to connect with each Demon’s sigil that I have on me. I am not here to tell you or even suggest that you should go out and get your favorite Dark Lord/Lady ‘s sigil tattooed, but for me personally it’s something I definitely have not regret since the day I started getting everything.
With all that aside, the one thing that I am probably the most proud of, is the love that I have for myself. I went through so many years when I was a child and teenager hating everything about myself. But it was through those very dark times that I realized how amazing of a person that I am. From those dark times I realized that I could either choose to disappear in the darkness, or to shine even brighter. I chose to shine brighter and from that developed a very high sense of self worth because it’s something that I’ve worked very hard on in my early adult life.
That is not to be mistaken with being full of yourself, I feel like every person is absolutely amazing in their own way. Every person that I have met in this lifetime brings unique personality aspects that challenge my own and make me grow as a person. I’ve been very blessed to have lived my life with a multitude of shining beacons helping me mold me into the person that I am today.
When I connect with Lord Rosier I find that he likes to challenge what I thought to be true when it comes to my process of love in all things. I could go on endlessly about the lessons that he has taught me but in this meeting he was challenging the love that I had for myself. He made me realize I only barely scratched the surface. He made me feel uncomfortable, self conscious, questioning everything that I thought I knew; which is absolutely perfect because that is when you truly realize you are growing.
When I met him in his space I saw everything in velvety luxury. He was in a relaxed sitting position on a love seat. He greeted me with a gentle smile.
“How are you little one?”
“I have been going through a mental block but I am not sure how to overcome it because quite frankly, I don’t know where the block is coming from.”
“What is it that you are going through?”
He has a way of making you feel comfortable and I admire that a lot about him as well. From that question opened a floodgate of word vomit; getting everything out that I have kept to myself from a lot of introspective thinking.
“I struggle from taking that step in the direction in life that I want to go, I know what I want to do but every time that I am about to do this, something in me stops me from fully committing to the process. I at first attested it to being afraid of failure but if I am being honest with myself entirely I don’t think that’s it. I think that is an easy excuse to fallback on and it doesn’t resonate with me when I think on it.”
He made eye contact with me and simply said, “You don’t love yourself.”
My first reaction was a half smile, to anyone that has ever talked to me they would never guess in a million years that I didn’t love myself.“I don’t know if I can agree with you on that. There is a lot that I love about myself, and the few things that I don’t like about myself I am in the process of already changing.”
“Loving yourself goes so much deeper than just loving who you are in the now in the physical. When you go for years of self doubt, not believing in yourself, it’s a process. While yes, self love has a lot to do with loving who you are in the now but a lot of people seem to ignore certain parts because they excuse those feelings for other things. It’s learning to realize that you are your biggest limiter. You see a big task right now and while there is that drive of wanting to be the very best at it, you don’t love yourself enough to necessarily BELIEVE in what you’re doing is something that you can accomplish. That you are in fact skilled enough to do whatever you put your mind to. Your dreams are not just for other people, you too can accomplish greatness.”
What he said hit me very hard, it felt like he simply took my soul itself and opened up another layer that I haven’t even been aware was there. So many emotions came up at once it was hard to digest.
“I never thought about it like that…”
“And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, you have to remember you’re not only healing years of self hatred, but you’re also having to completely change a mindset that you’ve had for practically a lifetime. Many people suffer in the same ways that you do in this current situation. The advantage you have though that a lot of people don’t is that you now are fully aware of it. So I ask you, Velca. What are you going to do now that you are aware?”