Satan and Suns

This is a very empowering thing to read and I want to tell you that I am very proud of you for this, and I absolutely do not care how strange that sounds coming from an online member that you have no personal/relational awareness of, it is a huge step towards reclaiming yourself and one that deserves to be celebrated.

I know from my own experience as a youth with substances the process of conquering addiction, besides the willpower needed to overcome the physiological urges, is a matter of re-framing that substance's place in your life and your identity. Overtime it tends to merge with our conception of ourselves and this is one of the greatest obstacles to ridding ourselves of its influence...it hooks into our very notion of life and how it should be lived...it is a process so sinister and elusive..and it can take any form, whether small and 'seemingly' insignificant like the addiction to electronics or something larger, more destructive, and pervasive like alchohol, drugs, sex, etc.. I eventually want to explore this more in depth perhaps through a post of my own experiences... there are so many facets to consider, such an interesting darkness of the world that seeps into every crevice nearly completely unchecked.

Good luck on this journey of yours, it was a wonderful, inspiring thing to read and I wish you the best. Remember not to be so hard on yourself if you slip-up... acknowledge the feeling that comes up the moment you feel yourself reaching out for the hit, this is ultimately the feeling that will need to be honored and healed to make this a permanent part of your past, rather than a phantom flitting between past and present.

Vixen wrote:This is a very empowering thing to read and I want to tell you that I am very proud of you for this, and I absolutely do not care how strange that sounds coming from an online member that you have no personal/relational awareness of, it is a huge step towards reclaiming yourself and one that deserves to be celebrated.

I know from my own experience as a youth with substances the process of conquering addiction, besides the willpower needed to overcome the physiological urges, is a matter of re-framing that substance's place in your life and your identity. Overtime it tends to merge with our conception of ourselves and this is one of the greatest obstacles to ridding ourselves of its influence...it hooks into our very notion of life and how it should be lived...it is a process so sinister and elusive..and it can take any form, whether small and 'seemingly' insignificant like the addiction to electronics or something larger, more destructive, and pervasive like alchohol, drugs, sex, etc.. I eventually want to explore this more in depth perhaps through a post of my own experiences... there are so many facets to consider, such an interesting darkness of the world that seeps into every crevice nearly completely unchecked.

Good luck on this journey of yours, it was a wonderful, inspiring thing to read and I wish you the best. Remember not to be so hard on yourself if you slip-up... acknowledge the feeling that comes up the moment you feel yourself reaching out for the hit, this is ultimately the feeling that will need to be honored and healed to make this a permanent part of your past, rather than a phantom flitting between past and present.

Thank you for the inspiring words Vixen. No I do not find it weird that you congratulate me. Even though we do not know each other on a personal level per se, we all do come here and share personal experiences. Therefore it kind of gives us a sense of familiarity with each other. At least it does for me.

It feels liberating no longer being a slave to the addiction of nicotine. I'll try not to be hard on myself if I slip up. However I am going to do my best not to.

Congratulations to you as well for overcoming your addiction that you had when you were younger. It takes great strength and determination

velle wrote:

Nefer wrote:Yes and after you give in its like ewww why did I do that? It stinks and tastes nasty and now my head hurts. Also I know better than to give in this time because I do know that one drag leads to another, which leads to one cigarette , which leads to buying a pack.
Third time is the charm. Gosh I'm so hard headed at times.

' Yes . I Have been there lol it don't feel good to fall off your right about you Don't like ' The taste its nasty its not the Same feeling you use to have from Smoking I Know that's why its not worth going back to Not to mention Lord Azazel would be

upset with me if . I Did because He hates anything that hurts your body he likes you to Eat right work out take care of yourself so going back to Something that was killing me Slowly its not going to happen its not anything that ' I Miss at all life is better for me now then its every been before giving up things that are not good for me

Indeed. It's he worst when you "disappoint " your mentor. I think them angry at us is better than having them disappointed. It's hurtful if I disappoint my mentor.

Nefer wrote:

velle wrote:

Nefer wrote:Yes and after you give in its like ewww why did I do that? It stinks and tastes nasty and now my head hurts. Also I know better than to give in this time because I do know that one drag leads to another, which leads to one cigarette , which leads to buying a pack.
Third time is the charm. Gosh I'm so hard headed at times.

' Yes . I Have been there lol it don't feel good to fall off your right about you Don't like ' The taste its nasty its not the Same feeling you use to have from Smoking I Know that's why its not worth going back to Not to mention Lord Azazel would be

upset with me if . I Did because He hates anything that hurts your body he likes you to Eat right work out take care of yourself so going back to Something that was killing me Slowly its not going to happen its not anything that ' I Miss at all life is better for me now then its every been before giving up things that are not good for me

Indeed. It's he worst when you "disappoint " your mentor. I think them angry at us is better than having them disappointed. It's hurtful if I disappoint my mentor.

'Agreed not wanting to disappoint lord Azazel is Something that's Stooping me From going back to this but mostly ' its for me because living is more important to me being around to Watch my Kids grow up have children of their own do all ' The things in life that gives me joy that's also whats stopping me from

Going back to Smoking also having more money is not bad either so its ' a lot that's keeping me from going back wards ' I Want to move forward not back wards

I am very happy for you Nefer. This is a huge accomplishment. It must be liberating.

velle wrote:

Nefer wrote:

velle wrote:

Nefer wrote:Yes and after you give in its like ewww why did I do that? It stinks and tastes nasty and now my head hurts. Also I know better than to give in this time because I do know that one drag leads to another, which leads to one cigarette , which leads to buying a pack.
Third time is the charm. Gosh I'm so hard headed at times.

' Yes . I Have been there lol it don't feel good to fall off your right about you Don't like ' The taste its nasty its not the Same feeling you use to have from Smoking I Know that's why its not worth going back to Not to mention Lord Azazel would be

upset with me if . I Did because He hates anything that hurts your body he likes you to Eat right work out take care of yourself so going back to Something that was killing me Slowly its not going to happen its not anything that ' I Miss at all life is better for me now then its every been before giving up things that are not good for me

Indeed. It's he worst when you "disappoint " your mentor. I think them angry at us is better than having them disappointed. It's hurtful if I disappoint my mentor.

'Agreed not wanting to disappoint lord Azazel is Something that's Stooping me From going back to this but mostly ' its for me because living is more important to me being around to Watch my Kids grow up have children of their own do all ' The things in life that gives me joy that's also whats stopping me from

Going back to Smoking also having more money is not bad either so its ' a lot that's keeping me from going back wards ' I Want to move forward not back wards

Yes, not to mention the list of health problems that arouse from smoking in my family. And I as well value my life. I'd like to be around for my son. My father died when I was 13... due to smoking.

I have a few addictions I need to rid myself of......I am not sure I am ready! The diet drinks should GO, and so should caffeine/coffee. You give me hope, though. Cigarettes are MUCH harder, I think. Good job! All that money you will save is a good incentive to say free of nicotine. Our companions really love it when we take responsibility for our own health and happiness.

Nefer wrote:

velle wrote:

Nefer wrote:

velle wrote:

Nefer wrote:Yes and after you give in its like ewww why did I do that? It stinks and tastes nasty and now my head hurts. Also I know better than to give in this time because I do know that one drag leads to another, which leads to one cigarette , which leads to buying a pack.
Third time is the charm. Gosh I'm so hard headed at times.

' Yes . I Have been there lol it don't feel good to fall off your right about you Don't like ' The taste its nasty its not the Same feeling you use to have from Smoking I Know that's why its not worth going back to Not to mention Lord Azazel would be

upset with me if . I Did because He hates anything that hurts your body he likes you to Eat right work out take care of yourself so going back to Something that was killing me Slowly its not going to happen its not anything that ' I Miss at all life is better for me now then its every been before giving up things that are not good for me

Indeed. It's he worst when you "disappoint " your mentor. I think them angry at us is better than having them disappointed. It's hurtful if I disappoint my mentor.

'Agreed not wanting to disappoint lord Azazel is Something that's Stooping me From going back to this but mostly ' its for me because living is more important to me being around to Watch my Kids grow up have children of their own do all ' The things in life that gives me joy that's also whats stopping me from

Going back to Smoking also having more money is not bad either so its ' a lot that's keeping me from going back wards ' I Want to move forward not back wards

Yes, not to mention the list of health problems that arouse from smoking in my family. And I as well value my life. I'd like to be around for my son. My father died when I was 13... due to smoking.

' Yes that's my biggest Reason for Stopping that people lose their lives everyday from Smoking and that list is growing by . The Day My mother just lost her Sister to Cancer from Smoking for over 20 years ' I Watch her suffer as her Body starting to Shut down on her it Was awful to

Watch and One of . The Sad part is there Was nothing Me Nor My mother are Her Children Could do to Help me We couldn't do anything But ' Watch her Die Slowly . I Wasn't going to end Up like that so that's another, Reason for me Saying enough this Is not Going to happen to me 'Not if ' I Can help it its not and its been almost a Year don't miss Smoking at all because it to high of a price you have to Pay for doing it

Satan's Hellcat wrote:I have a few addictions I need to rid myself of......I am not sure I am ready! The diet drinks should GO, and so should caffeine/coffee. You give me hope, though. Cigarettes are MUCH harder, I think. Good job! All that money you will save is a good incentive to say free of nicotine. Our companions really love it when we take responsibility for our own health and happiness.

Thank you SH. Yes diet soda is very bad for you. I know you must consume diet beverages due to your diabetes. However diet beverages have carcinogens in them that cause cancer. So you should definitely try your best to stop drinking those diet sodas.

Velle ~ I am sorry to hear about your aunt dying of cancer. Cancer is a very serious illness. The people who have cancer usually end up greatly suffering. It is very good that you decide to stop smoking cigarettes especially because that is what brought upon your aunts cancer. Hopefully you have stopped in time. Watching somebody especially a close family member go through the different stages of cancer, watching them suffer, is very hurtful.
Make sure you do not pick back up that wretched habit.