Satan and Suns

Bathosias wrote: In part also because it just doesn't do any good. We keep going around in the same circles. For anyone who wants success, they will need to work for it. It's not going to be handed to you. True enlightenment comes from self study, trial and error, and the knowledge imparted in the pursuit. So much of this has been said time and time again. Honestly it's ehxhausting.

.....damn, is it wrong of me wanting to say "I told you so"?

Also I have to add, if it feels right for someone to go their own path and don't follow any tradition, that's not wrong either. But it does make sense to be informed and build your own foundation based on the knowledge you might gather from others.
One might as well start their own tradition from the beginning, but it will probably take a long time and a lot of trial and error so it would be easier to just look at what others do, try to find a common denominator that works for oneself and find the mechanics that work for oneself.

All traditions had to start somewhere and some might have started with their founder wandering for 40 years in the desert. Or maybe just 40 days. Or 10 years in a mountain cave.

I think I would have calmed down the minute I found my companions had not answered my call. To me that says I am not in any real danger, or at least not in any that I cannot handle. Sometimes we are a lot more powerful than we think! Even negative experiences can have value. I have a tendency to panic first and think later, myself. Yeah. trying to overcome that! I cause more than 90% of the trouble that comes to me, because I am a POWERFUL manifester and Witch. I just don't believe it a lot of the time. I'd say this was a GREAT experience, because you got a result (okay maybe not the one you wanted), you got out of body/lucid, and you learned something. Just apply what you learned, get back on that horse, and try again!!

I certainly came out of this experience with an adjustment of mentality on what not to do when approaching entities and . In fact, after reading more about Shemyaza's heartbreaking story in the book of Enoch, I was like wtf was I thinking of invoking him in such an insensitive and flippant fashion. I am not sure if he was involved in my lucid nightmare but I would not approach unfamiliar entities like him again without spending a solid amount of time meditating on them first to get a good understanding of their nature. if I want to be taken seriously by an entity, I need to take them damn seriously as well, it's not only common sense but common courtesy (again wtf was I thinking of? =.=)

Regarding learning material, while I wish I had known about demonolatry or demonosophy years ago, the quality and quantity of the resources we have access to today are far superior to what I would have found 10 years ago for example. It is an exciting process to absorb what I read and take the parts that resonate with me, adding something of my own and finally develop my very own path and rituals.

I did have this one nightmare where I was behind my bedroom door and there was some evil woman/entity banging on the door and she also threw herself on it as well. It felt like she was trying to hijack my body and I was so very afraid. Before this nightmare occured I helped this demon and in return he gave me a boon. A small little silver metal wolf figurine. I told him I didn't want anything from him in return. But he told me to keep it because I would need it.

So back in the nightmare I knew it was only a matter of time before she came through to the other side. I tried calling for some demon I knew. Even Archangel Michael, anyone but no one came to save me. That was when I remembered Andras left me his figurine. I thought of it. And I felt another presence on the other side of the door. He immediately took care of her. There was a terrifying scream. And I heard her crying out loud. He drew a weapon.. A sword? And sliced her up. Well actually I just heard the noises from inside of my room behind the door so I didn't really get to see any of the action.

Once it was over some lady opened my door and led me into my brother's room next door. We both sat down on the bed and she talked about one of her daughter's going into necromancy and how she ended up crazy later on in her life. She looked like my mom but my mom doesn't talk the way she did in that dream/nightmare. I think she took the appearance of my mom so I wouldn't get frightened of her.