*Mailbag* What are the ethics of forced love spells?

[Akelta]

Q. Akelta would you explain please about the ethics inherent in trying to use demons to control a romantic partner who is not interested in being controlled?

A. Yes, I can answer that… Ethically speaking it is not really redeemable in any way, it’s black magick through and through and I personally think it is worse than curses. Controlling another in this manner is essentially mind rape. Love coercions of this nature compel the other person to act against their wishes and desires. Basically, their internal energies are saying no, but the external energies are saying yes. So you get an endless battle where eventually the person’s will is going to win out. It is like a spiritual rape drug in essence. I personally do not do work like this for this very reason.

There is another side to this too, the most effective method of this is energy influencing. Because you are going against what the person desires, one would have to continually add more energy for it to be effective. Over time it will corrode though, then when the person wakes up they will be filled with anger and rage. It is similar to the effects of a person waking up from being in a narcissistic relationship and realizing that the person they thought they loved, was abusing them through subtle manipulation.

Adding demons to the mix it gets even more interesting because of the fact that demons are all about lessons. They are not servants, they are teachers and mentors and if someone asks for this there are lessons in them that they have to learn about why they would want to impose their will on another who is unwilling, so… what you get is a situation that is destined to backfire and when it does, adding demonic energy to the equation, the results will be, well, very “educating.”

[Inanna]

I personally would not do love spells on someone I am actually in love with because why would I want to spend my life with someone who doesn't love me for who I am? I believe that the need for coercive love spells arises from a bruised ego and is a sign that one has traumas that needs to be healed through shadow work. More likely the person who casts the spell is not really desiring love from the target, even though they may not be consciously aware but their true desire is to achieve revenge through gaining control over the target who originally rejected them and possibly use this power to humiliate the latter. However, I do not feel that ethics are involved in this type of behavior, when one needs to be healed, one will put oneself through lesson after lesson until the healing is complete. What about the "victim" who facilitates the lesson? Well, if you believe in soul contracts (I first read about this concept in the Conversation with God series), the victim may have agreed out of love to play this role back before the two of them had taken human forms so that both could go through experiences that may act as lessons for the victim as well.

[VioletShirokuma]

It's an old post from 3 years ago.
But I agree with this. And I know word for word what is being said here.
I know I've spoken from experience on this before even on places like the CH forums but I've done a love binding spell with my blood and menstrual blood before and I was not very lucky. I've dabbled a lot in the past with obsession and allure spells but nothing like the kind of binding spell I did once on a guy. I had zero knowledge of a lot of things, and no understanding of free-will at the time... which is kind of stupid, I know, it's something everyone usually has a clue or knowledge about. I'm usually very good about my own intuition and knowing things quickly but that period of my life was probably my lowest. I don't get into the actual details of what happened to me but long story short, it was a disaster. Just a lot of scenarios and incidents happened and shifted. A very long series of bad things happening every month for almost a year. I've lived with rollercoaster guilt for years... but I think I am reaching a time in my life I am finally coming to terms and the lessons have come almost full circle.

But I really like the example given of those who think they can add demons to the mix... lol I assure they will teach a big lesson.

[SerenitySpells]

I'm not a saint by any definition, as a witch who works both paths I have done my fair share of black magick. But even I would not do a forced love spell. I know how to do them , in fact they are exceptionally easily. I have been asked to perform them and give the spells to others to perform. Each time I have told the person - look if you want to do them each to their own, you can live with the consequences. Then I direct them to the internet and say there are loads out there find one yourself, I'm not getting involved, its on your head.

I have never understood why you would want to force someone against their will to love you. At best it works but eventually they realise they are being mind fucked and leave you (as Akelta says to sustain it for a long period takes so much effort), at worse ... well one example is an obsessed stalker who ends up killing you.

To me it is just not worth it. You are abusing the other person and potentially screwing yourself over.

[Thalam]

Adding demons to the mix it gets even more interesting because of the fact that demons are all about lessons. They are not servants, they are teachers and mentors and if someone asks for this there are lessons in them that they have to learn about why they would want to impose their will on another who is unwilling, so… what you get is a situation that is destined to backfire and when it does, adding demonic energy to the equation, the results will be, well, very “educating.”

Everyone should be aware of this point. Indeed they’re not servants and all about lessons.

[Lycana]

Better to do a working to draw love to you for that right special person rather than manipulating someone. I’ve seen a lot of people get caught up with love spell stuff and it never fails to make me cringe.

I can’t see anything good from involving a demon it unless you really want an epic SmackDown as far as lessons go.

[Shershah.chowdhury]

Better to do a working to draw love to you for that right special person rather than manipulating someone. I’ve seen a lot of people get caught up with love spell stuff and it never fails to make me cringe.

I can’t see anything good from involving a demon it unless you really want an epic SmackDown as far as lessons go.

No demon is gonna give you a smackdown for doing this.
All the dark lords and demons are mostly called upon for revenge and stuff like love spells and they will do it without hesitation. A person i wont name does forced love obsession spells with help of astaroth , belial & oshun. Although u see people approach the dark lords on here with kindness and have that loving relationship... 90% of the others the dark lords help them in revenge and destruction etc. There is 2 sides to a coin and their black side is used more in spell work and among magicians than their lighter side.
So there wont be any smackdown.

I'm 100% against love spells. Only cowards use love spells and ruin a persons life.

[Lycana]

No demon is gonna give you a smackdown for doing this.

I didn’t say they would. Outside of being horribly manipulative, love spells have a habit of having very unpleasant side effects. Gaining the help of a demon would just put that much more into it that could have potentially terrible consequences when the spell bites you in the ass in ways you don’t foresee. Nowhere did I say that it was the demon that would smack you down. I don’t ascribe human morals and values to demons or any other entity.

Please do not assume I mean something other than I specifically say.

[Nighthawk]

Many years ago, I had a friend who was infatuated with a man who was not interested in her. She paid a witch in our local Ye Olde Witchy Shoppe, whom I'll call "D" to cast a spell to make him love her. The spellcaster and I both tried to talk her out of it for reasons mentioned above. Also my friend was amazingly beautiful at that time and truly had no problem attracting men. I also tried to talk her out of it because I knew her well, and I knew she was very fickle, and would probably tire of this man soon no matter what. But she was adamant, and the spell was cast.

The next day, he became obsessed with her. Claiming undying passion, wanting to be with her all the time. She wanted love, wasn't very clear on what love is, and she got a stalker. It was sad, he was almost like a robot with his attraction and mannerisms. He showed up everywhere she was. I felt really bad for the guy. She wanted him, and she sure got him. She started complaining of him, and how he wouldn't leave her alone. I kept reminding her this is what she did. They I realized she liked the complaining and felt some revulsion towards her. She eventually asked for the spell to be dismissed, and *just like that* he lost interest in her.

It really pointed out to me how powerful magic can be. When I did spells and such at Ye Olde Witchy Shoppe, I got advise from D and cast my own spells, dressed my own candles, and such. I wanted my energy and intent, my hands on it. She was much happier providing that sort of help, and was a good mentor to me until she passed a couple of years later. My friend, unfortunately, went down a different path and we separated when I decided to get sober and she thought I was ridiculous to do so. I believe she lacked an ability for self-insight, and the love spell was just a manifestation of that. The last time I saw her she was living on the streets, homeless, high, and still insisting she knew better than most. Some people cannot be helped. I still occasionally light a candle for her.

[flywithbats666]

What if it backfires and creates a stalker obsessive pseudo-love? what if the object of your spell casting tries to kill you because they love you?

To each their own, but this is something i won't delve into.

Love is so powerful and beautiful, but becomes twisted into something ugly and dangerous when doing a forced love/manipulation spell.

Love is a faceted emotion, there is the good with it and the bad.