Psychological health--Clinical depression

A section for celebrating health and wellness!
User avatar
Shifa
Posts: 1262
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:12 am
Patron Deities: Ceiling Cat
Your favourite Demon?: Basement Cat
Has thanked: 47 times
Been thanked: 81 times

Hyssop has purple flowers ... or do you mean the scent of the candle?
Maybe go for some beeswax instead? Sometimes you find the colored type or you might have to go online.
I'm sure you'll find something.

Put gem stones around the glass candle holder to catch the flame light. I'm sure you'll think of a way to bring some color to this.
Fall into the depths of nothingness beyond the dark
H_Wright
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 pm
Been thanked: 4 times

Hyssop is a good idea too. My lavender thinking was for the calming effect but anything to help me direct my focus will work. I have oils that I can use one or 2 drops without messing with her allergies as long as she doesn't breath it in or touch it. I even thought of just drawing a picture on paper and covering the glass of the candle to give it the "mood". Lol I suck at drawing, but I don't think it will mess with the intention. It's more of like a visual petition.
H_Wright
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 pm
Been thanked: 4 times

So having to work and the rain kind of slowing everything down, I thought on my way home from dropping my daughter off from work, remembering I have all I need. A simple white jar candle will work with my own intentions, added anise for strength, protection, youth, and purification; allspice to encourage healing; tea tree for cleansing and purification; black glitter for removing negative energies, purple glitter for healing and empowerment. I feel good about this very simple work. Yea for glitter and kitchen spices!!
User avatar
Shifa
Posts: 1262
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:12 am
Patron Deities: Ceiling Cat
Your favourite Demon?: Basement Cat
Has thanked: 47 times
Been thanked: 81 times

H_Wright wrote:So having to work and the rain kind of slowing everything down, I thought on my way home from dropping my daughter off from work, remembering I have all I need. A simple white jar candle will work with my own intentions, added anise for strength, protection, youth, and purification; allspice to encourage healing; tea tree for cleansing and purification; black glitter for removing negative energies, purple glitter for healing and empowerment. I feel good about this very simple work. Yea for glitter and kitchen spices!!
Woot! Sounds nice. We are getting a drenching today, but you could use it as a metaphorical cleansing as well. It's been a soothing sound.
Fall into the depths of nothingness beyond the dark
H_Wright
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 pm
Been thanked: 4 times

I love the sound of rain. Sigh, but I feel the opposite is happening, or a reversion. Back to feeling like crap with the daughter. Did all the snake cleaning by myself. Supposed to be a team effort. Even broke my own rule with the big girl. The mulch we have that I sprayed down to prevent mites smelled like pee so I checked all the cat litters and they were all dirty. Her job. Guess I'll be getting used to it. Maybe I'm concentrating on the wrong thing and instead of concentrating on peaceful home and reconciling with her I should start thinking about more healing for me. This is going to be a very tense weekend with just her and me in the car driving. I don't want to go alone but I don't want her to come with me if there is going to be nothing but tension. Okay, I'm done my pity party. This candle is going to work!!
User avatar
DoubleD
Posts: 1212
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2015 7:08 am
Patron Deities: Aranunna, Marduk, Anubis, Horus
Your favourite Demon?: Still Learning This
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
Been thanked: 3 times

How you doing H? Hang in there, things take time to turn around and consistency is key.
H_Wright
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 pm
Been thanked: 4 times

I'm feeling kind of defeated. I've learned not to do magick and deep meditation while under depression so I have stepped back, but I feel so "inactive". I've done some very gentle meditation just to calm my nerves, and have been cleaning the hell out of my home and body, the energy around me. My candle failed after 5 tries now, so I will do a more thorough cleaning and pull apart my grid and redo it. My candle was suffocating in my bedroom, but the one on my living room alter I burned as a nonworking candle was strong and the energy was clear, incense was not suffocating, so the living room seems clear of energy, but not my bedroom? I feel like this one step forward has taken me 3 steps back.

I invited my daughter to spend time with me after cleaning the enclosures to watch a movie I knew she would like, she accepted and then as I was getting gas I guess she got a better offer. I'm trying here to reconcile the most precious relationship I will ever have. We used to be so close. She is not the same person and I feel like I'm the one responsible for changing her. I know, giving myself a lot of power here right?

I will be consistent, even when it is the last thing I want to do. I just have to get stronger. Even going out to the living room takes energy I don't have. I want to give up all my animals, and that is just not me. They seem to be such a chore rather than the joy they have always brought me. I enjoy when I spend time with them but not making myself spend time with them, and that sucks. I even took it personally when my Z girl struck at me yesterday, and she does it all the time. Nothing new, but THIS time it was personal. I know they feel my emotion though, so maybe it was personal THIS time.

I cried to my son about not wanting to go to the mountains this weekend. I know I need to go though, and I've been looking forward to it. He needs to go too, to get away and spend some time grounding and admiring this great earth, pure, the way it was created. Not ruined by man.

Even though she hasn't died, I feel like I'm mourning a child, like I've lost her but still have to see her every day. But it is not her, just looks like her. I imagine she feels the same way about me though, and that breaks my heart to think she might feel the same way I do.
H_Wright
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 pm
Been thanked: 4 times

I just came to a realization that kind of blows my mind. I am completely, 100%, undoubtedly positive that this is the work of a psychic vampire. I allowed myself to be victimized, and now my daughter. This literally just popped in my head and I immediately did a divination which strongly confirmed my own intuition, or whoever put this in my head. I also really believe that he is fully aware of what he is doing. I will not put 100% of blame on him, because I was weak myself and paid a part in this, allowing myself, and even encouraging myself to be used as a source without realizing exactly what he is. I'm kind of shaken. I will really have to put some thought into this and figure out how to proceed.
User avatar
Shifa
Posts: 1262
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:12 am
Patron Deities: Ceiling Cat
Your favourite Demon?: Basement Cat
Has thanked: 47 times
Been thanked: 81 times

Oh. Dear me, I was just going to make the guess that you had teenagers, and even I had some boneheaded attitude problems towards the 'rents that I regret. Not to mention that I hated chores, then and now.
SH would be good to talk to about psychic vampirism and negative energy defense.
Fall into the depths of nothingness beyond the dark
H_Wright
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 6:26 pm
Been thanked: 4 times

I'll send a message when I get some time to write this out.

When I tell you she is the perfect child, I am not exaggerating. She is perfect. She has gotten in trouble once, and in her defense her phone battery was low in a bad service area (amusement park) so died quickly. She turned off the phone and just didn't check it for 2 hours when I needed to tell her she needed to be picked up. This was her one single time getting in trouble, EVER! She is extremely empathetic and easy to get overwhelmed with emotion. I think she never got in trouble because she would get overwhelmed by us any time we were disappointed in her so she just made it a habit to not disappoint us, and she succeeded. Ariel has never been a "normal" child, even up to the age of 17. Until this guy became active in her life. What made me think of PV is how well she had been at shielding and the shield on both of us just kind of crumbled. My fear is that she will not protect herself from him. She will deny he is one and call me crazy for suggesting it. She is so enamored with him. Another thing to point out is that she is gay. He is the ONLY guy she has ever had any kind of romantic relationship with. She is simply not my daughter anymore, but the shell of my daughter.
Post Reply

Return to “Health and Wellness”